Costume Advise for Someone Else

Amulya

Moderator
I wasn't sure what had prompted the OP. It seemed like a bit of an odd question to ask if someone had a lot of dance experience and had had an ostomy for a while, so I guess I assumed since she was talking about her dresses no longer fitting, she was new to the ostomy as a dancer. I didn't mean it to come across as talking down or [___]-splaining, and if it did, I apologize.

I remember a similar question coming up years ago on Bhuz, and you never know who is lurking or will find a thread in the future. There surely are others out there who wonder about belly dancing and ostomies, or who have similar questions about a costuming need to cover an abdominal issue, so maybe it's still useful...
No worries, I have no idea, but I didn’t want to ask. These are good questions to be able to look up if you’re new to dancing or to ostomy bags! Or other reasons.
I have seen other questions on Bhuz or here regarding medical things. But Bhuz’ info is completely lost isn’t it?
 

Amulya

Moderator
Would something like this work?

View attachment 11459

Its more baggy/loose than most Saidi dresses as it was made by an old skool folkloric dancer/costumer.
I think it could! Turns out OP still had a dress that looked like Fifi’s example! I also suggested this site to OP, saying it’s handy for all the stored costume tips!
 

Tourbeau

Active member
I have seen other questions on Bhuz or here regarding medical things. But Bhuz’ info is completely lost isn’t it?
I've found a few crumbs on the Wayback Machine internet archive, but not enough to be really useful. When Bhuz was dying, there was talk of keeping it as an archive, but the expense and maintenance time must have been too much (understandable). Somebody was going to keep the old MEDlist online for reference at one point, too.

I have my own old posts on an external hard drive that hasn't been touched in years and might be useless, but...yeah, the Belly Dance Library of Alexandria keeps burning down.
 

Amulya

Moderator
I've found a few crumbs on the Wayback Machine internet archive, but not enough to be really useful. When Bhuz was dying, there was talk of keeping it as an archive, but the expense and maintenance time must have been too much (understandable). Somebody was going to keep the old MEDlist online for reference at one point, too.

I have my own old posts on an external hard drive that hasn't been touched in years and might be useless, but...yeah, the Belly Dance Library of Alexandria keeps burning down.
We still have this forum! Lets hope it stays put! Bhuz was huge, so to keep that online and not actively using it would be too hard. In the end they used a lot of ads, that is useful when people are still posting. But I can’t remember what the reason was that it was fully locked down. No one wanted to take over maybe?

How do you use the Wayback Machine? And what was the MEDlist? I might have missed that one.
 

Tourbeau

Active member
We still have this forum! Lets hope it stays put!
I hope, but it has to be a lot of work and money so half a dozen people can put up a handful of posts a week. When Bhuz was imploding, people complained constantly about FB being a terrible alternative to a BB forum with the way their timelines work (hard to follow conversations, hard to search, disorganized, etc.). Sure, a lot of people drifted off to other hobbies or retired from dancing, and COVID did its own damage in the last two years, but where did they all go? Some of them are still out there. Why don't more of them come back?

Bhuz was huge, so to keep that online and not actively using it would be too hard. In the end they used a lot of ads, that is useful when people are still posting.
Wasn't part of the problem also that they brought in a third party to run the selling area that nobody liked? Bhuz was already hemorrhaging users to FB, then they poisoned their own well with the swap meet, and there just wasn't much left.

But I can’t remember what the reason was that it was fully locked down. No one wanted to take over maybe?
The sysadmin was her mother, and IIRC, she couldn't do it any longer. I don't know if they held onto it because they had dreams of restarting it, or if they couldn't find a successor, or if they just didn't want to turn it over to somebody else.

How do you use the Wayback Machine?
If you have a website address, you can enter it in the Wayback Machine, and if it has copies saved for that site, it will show you a calendar of options for snapshots of that page you can view. For example, if you paste Bhuz.com/forum/belly-dance-fan-forum into the WM search box, it will show you all of the snapshots they have for the Fan Forum. The vast majority of thread links are missing, and unfortunately, some of the more useful areas were private (you had to be signed in, so they were never captured by WM), but if you like reminiscing about the old layouts and everybody's usernames...sigh....

And what was the MEDlist? I might have missed that one.
The MEDlist was the old majordomo e-mail discussion list. I don't know when it started, but I think I joined it in late 1999. It ran for a few more years until everybody moved on to places like Bhuz, Tribe, and here.
 

Zorba

"The Veiled Male"
I hope, but it has to be a lot of work and money so half a dozen people can put up a handful of posts a week. When Bhuz was imploding, people complained constantly about FB being a terrible alternative to a BB forum with the way their timelines work (hard to follow conversations, hard to search, disorganized, etc.). Sure, a lot of people drifted off to other hobbies or retired from dancing, and COVID did its own damage in the last two years, but where did they all go? Some of them are still out there. Why don't more of them come back?
2 reasons as I see it. 1) Belly Dance is currently in one of its periodic nadirs, and 2) What's left of the greater BD community is joined at the hip with "THAT SITE". I'll spare everyone the rant; but only make the observation that of my many interests, Belly Dance is the ONLY one that doesn't have multiple, active, and thriving forums similar to this one.

I have tried multiple times to get dancers local to me interested in this site, but they just don't want to play. Yet they're all over insta-snap, facesuck, and similar. *shrug*
 
Last edited:

Shanazel

Super Moderator
We have a few new OD members who are participating and a few old ones who have ventured back home. Keep the faith, folks.
 

Amulya

Moderator
I think I was part of the MEDlist at some point, I vaguely remember something that went by email.

Sadly Tribe is also gone, that was also a bit all over the place like Facebook, but still better. And much better than MySpace that was headache inducing hahahahaha!

I have no idea where everybody went, but in my case, that is my fault, after I had to quit dancing (due to an accident) I was so angry about not being able to dance I didn’t want to look at belly dance stuff!

(And a thing that hurt extra much was that my custom made Bella arrived soon after as well. It is still unworn in the closet. I wouldn’t even fit it anymore because I had it made with ‘room to grow’ (I tend to fluctuate in size) and they misinterpreted the cup size extremely! Even though I have them so many measurements! I also had just finished one costume that was worn once, but I don’t think I have worn the fully finished version. Sorry, had to get that off my chest)

And then….. this was always an issue for me and really painful embarrassing one: I have so much trouble remembering names! And there were so many people on Bhuz. Recently someone in my belly dance costume making group talked to me as if she knew me…. Turns out, from Bhuz! But I had no idea who she was! Super embarrassing!
Here it is easier because the people who stayed, I can remember
 

Amulya

Moderator
I have tried multiple times to get dancers local to me interested in this site, but they just don't want to play. Yet they're all over insta-snap, facesuck, and similar. *shrug*
LOL those names! Insta isn’t good for belly dance either, maybe for marketing for students and gigs? Maybe same with Facesook, you can easily organise workshops in there, classes etc.
 

Shanazel

Super Moderator
I have no idea where everybody went, but in my case, that is my fault, after I had to quit dancing (due to an accident) I was so angry about not being able to dance I didn’t want to look at belly dance stuff!

I wondered if maybe your disappearance had something to do with not being able to dance anymore. I can't say how glad I am to have you back. I quit dancing several years ago (increasingly severe arthritis). I thought perhaps I should retire from OD as well, but decided vicarious enjoyment of dance through others was better than exiling myself all together. I kinda like y'all!
 

Zorba

"The Veiled Male"
I was "slightly" involved with Tribe as there was a male Belly Dancers forum there. The forum was so-so, Tribe wasn't that great, so I never got involved with MySpace and certainly never facesuck. Most of the other stuff, insta-snap, whatsup, whatever - I barely know they exist - as I understand them, most of them require a smartphone to use.
 

Amulya

Moderator
I have no idea where everybody went, but in my case, that is my fault, after I had to quit dancing (due to an accident) I was so angry about not being able to dance I didn’t want to look at belly dance stuff!

I wondered if maybe your disappearance had something to do with not being able to dance anymore. I can't say how glad I am to have you back. I quit dancing several years ago (increasingly severe arthritis). I thought perhaps I should retire from OD as well, but decided vicarious enjoyment of dance through others was better than exiling myself all together. I kinda like y'all!
Severe arthritis must be horrible! I always had chronic pain, but I was able to work with it, now I could with pain meds, but the dancing itself sends me in a days long exhaustion flare where I have to rest, sometimes not able to move much and that gets boring soon! But in summer I am a bit better and can do some gardening, that is very good as pain killer for me! Plus a fun activity with my partner and MIL.
(Another not so new thing, the 3 of us bought a house together and it works well, we are all so similar and she is the best MIL you can wish for!)

That is why I keep coming back every now and then too, can’t resist, it’s good to see there are still some of us left! I can now finally watch dance videos and not be jealous or feel terrible loss and pain. And listen to music again (although that was easier) With listening can dance inside my head, if that makes sense, I can picture myself dancing or someone else.

I started to get more active with my Facebook costuming group because it became more busy and I find it fun I can still share knowledge that way!

I wonder, when you quit dancing, did you also feel like you lost yourself as a person? That was so hard to deal with, it was such a huge part of me! I still need to find ways to bring that back somehow.

Cheers on not exiling ourselves!

ETA: they finally found out why I have been ill since I was little, turns out I have a connective tissue disease and POTS, having EDS (the connective tissu thing) was good for dancing because I was and am very flexible, so I was able to learn all the movements very fast, but it comes with a terrible cost, always being exhausted and I’m nearly fully housebound now
 

Shanazel

Super Moderator
I wonder, when you quit dancing, did you also feel like you lost yourself as a person? That was so hard to deal with, it was such a huge part of me! I still need to find ways to bring that back somehow.
After forty years of dancing and teaching, I did indeed feel like I had lost an essential part of my identity. About the same time, I had to quit riding my motorcycle because my leg joints were increasingly undependable, and then a couple of years ago, I had to quit riding my horses because ladies with osteoporosis in the lower back don't need to be falling off horses any more. Both my horses died last year; even though I can't ride, I miss them horribly. It has all been a physical and psychological adjustment to make, and like you, I've found solace in gardening. Congratulations on your house!

I remembered that you have connective tissue issues, and thought perhaps that's why you disappeared. Once again: I am very happy to have you back!

Cheers on not exiling ourselves!
👍 I'll keep hanging around if you will.
 

Amulya

Moderator
After forty years of dancing and teaching, I did indeed feel like I had lost an essential part of my identity. About the same time, I had to quit riding my motorcycle because my leg joints were increasingly undependable, and then a couple of years ago, I had to quit riding my horses because ladies with osteoporosis in the lower back don't need to be falling off horses any more. Both my horses died last year; even though I can't ride, I miss them horribly. It has all been a physical and psychological adjustment to make, and like you, I've found solace in gardening. Congratulations on your house!

I remembered that you have connective tissue issues, and thought perhaps that's why you disappeared. Once again: I am very happy to have you back!



👍 I'll keep hanging around if you will.
Thank you! I will stick around, I never fully disappeared, I always kept checking from time to time, curious.
You had to give up so many more hobbies! And loosing the horses must be hard, I bet you had them a long time.
My hobbies were mostly related to belly dancing! Sewing was for costumes and collecting jewellery items that would go together with it. And collecting old belly dance music, unfortunately I lost that all due to a memory gadget where they were stored breaking down! And that was a big collection that was hard to get. I had to hand record them all.

Regarding backs, I have to be super careful too, I broke mine in a teeny tiny fall where I didn’t even hit the ground! My osteoporosis is related to EDS. I have been taking bone pills for that. My parents both have it too, also on those pills. Don’t know if they work, I have to do a bone density test. But so many medical tests have to be done and I don’t have energy. Next week we are doing a fun family outing to to get flu and covid shots 😂

Cool you also got into gardening, I especially love it in summer, now it’s too cold and dreary yuk.
 

Shanazel

Super Moderator
The bone pills worked well enough that I was able to quit taking them for several years. Back on them now, though. Osteoporosis runs in the female line of my family.
 

Amulya

Moderator
The bone pills worked well enough that I was able to quit taking them for several years. Back on them now, though. Osteoporosis runs in the female line of my family.
I am currently off them too, I need bone surgery next month, and once healed go back on them. My parents both have it, my father’s sister has it. My mum has EDS and my father has symptoms of it, so I won the genetic lottery (there is more than just EDS, unfortunately too long a list, but it’s awful to so disabled so young, but what can you do)
 

Greek Bonfire

Well-known member
At one time, I could fine some amazing arm and leg accessories but nowadays they're almost impossible to find so more and more I make my own. The newer costumes today (the very expensive ones) have some beautiful accessories, although some costumes have so much "stuff" that I find myself looking at it all more than watch the dance.
 

Shanazel

Super Moderator
...although some costumes have so much "stuff" that I find myself looking at it all more than watch the dance.
My pet belly dance peeve: costumes that distract and detract attention from the dance instead of enhancing it. Doesn't matter whether it is a weird high in the back low in the front hem, a complex set of accessories, or a costume that begs the questions, "What is going to fall out and when?" I want to think, "What a lovely costume," then lose myself in watching the performance.
 
Top