Conflicted and guilty over stupid things

[Jane]

My DH got me a genetic test kit for my birthday at my request. I'm adopted on my dad's side and was curious about health issues and such. I admit to being a bit disappointed that my test results also indicated that I have no Middle Eastern ancestry. I'm just plain old European white. I feel genetically uninteresting and am now experiencing white guilt about (apparently) having a latent wish to be "exotic" and "interesting." Why do I equate being non-white as more interesting (in a good way) and white people as being boring (in a bad way)? How has this crept into my way of thinking? Is this some sort of bizarre form of racism? Funny thing is, I never thought about belly dance to become an "exotic other", I just like it. Maybe I had some unknown hope of connecting with the culture on a personal level that has now been dashed. I need to focus on the fact that I have no major genetic health issues or something because I'm obviously over-thinking this.


I decided to post this here because only other belly dancers can relate to something so bizarre

 

[Darshiva]

What you're going through is perfectly normal. You were just hoping that your unknown ancestry held something more unknown than parentage, and that's nothing to feel guilty about. Have fun discovering your ancestry as much as technology will allow you to. And remember one thing - you're already awesome, so hang on to that and revel in it.

 

[Mosaic]

Absolutely what Darshiva said I would love to get my DNA done, but have never been able to afford to. I have traced my family back on my Father's side 7 generations & they are all British labourers or farmers, although one of them ended in jail for 6mths for stealing 1/2 a bag of cement On my Mother's side, my Grandfather & male ancestors were seafarers (they are from Sweden) but have only managed to go back 3 generations because all the docs are in Swedish On my maternal grandmother's branch, we have Scots (lots of them - they seem to have been mainly servants in Dunse castle & cobblers) & a West Indian, my Maternal Great grandfather, unfortunately we have been unable to trace his family, but it is believed his mother was a slave & he the child of the slave master, we surmise he was freeman & took the surname Freeman, & somehow found his way to NZ to seek his fortune in the gold fields, which he didn't do .. find his fortune But that is all we know. That would be an exciting branch to track down, but doubt it will be possible.

Jane, your "white" ancestors could be very interesting, you should try to trace them maybe there is some wanderers/archaeologists who loved the Middle East, or how about a swashbuckling pirate, you never know Some of our white ancestors were interesting I'm sure.
~Mosaic

 

[Yame]

I think Darshiva hit the nail on the head. Nothing to feel guilty about!

But now I am curious about my own ancestry... are those tests expensive?

 

[Jane]

Thanks everyone. I am feeling a bit reassured now! I've decided that someday my descendants will tell stories about my accomplishments. Can't change the past, so onward and upward!

The test company we ordered from is 23andMe, located in California. It was $99 American. The price for these kind of tests has dropped and now that the Neanderthal genome sequence has been mapped, they can tell you your Neanderthal percentage too.

https://www.23andme.com/offer/?utm_...h_Paid_Brand&gclid=CPuKrNnk67gCFchxQgodjkcAaQ

Haplogroup H18

100%
European:

Northern European:

41.8%
British and Irish
20.5%
French and German
< 0.1%
Scandinavian
32.7%
Nonspecific Northern European
2.2%
Eastern European

Southern European:

0.1%
Iberian
< 0.1%
Nonspecific Southern European
0.1%
Ashkenazi
2.6%
Nonspecific European

This lab estimates your genome-wide percentage of Neanderthal ancestry at 3.2%

 

[Ariadne]

They estimate your neanderthal ancestry too? That is so cool!

 

[Jane]

Yup, most Europeans are 1-4 percent Neanderthal. Dept. of Genetics | Neandertal | Home

 

[Munniko]

Half of me wants to do this, but I feel like the results would be more confusing than helpful. My dad is an immigrant from the Ryukyu island chain and just the trade that has gone through that area

 

[Jane]

That's pretty cool Munniko. I had to look up where that was. I bet you'd get interesting results

 

[Munniko]

Yeah, you find it on older maps with the USSR because pre-WW2 it wasn't part of Japan. I think that every culture always has something interesting, like the dances of Europe can be realy neat O_O

 

[Tarik Sultan]

Honey, how could you be uninteresting??? You're worrying yourself because of an idea and inso doing, giving away your power to something that isn't real. Suppose they told you you were descended from the Hitties. You would feel, oh great! but would that be authentic? No. Suppose they then came back and told you, oh we made a mistake, you're 100% European after all. Then you would have felt let down. But what would have actually changed? Nothing. Only the way you thought about yourself. The illusion that you attached to an idea about yourself.

Listen, there is no such thing as "interesting", or "uninteresting" races or cultures. There are no "good cultures/races" and "bad cultures/races". Every culture/nationality on Earth has its positive and negative aspects. There isn't one that is better than the other. What makes you significant is what you do with your life right here and right now. So what if you're ancestry had turned up XYZ% Egyptian? So what? Do you know what the everyday actual experience of the average Egyptian is like? I'll tell you, PRETTY FREAKIN BOARING! and you know what, that's the same for almost every group of people on Earth. Everybody is freaking out trying to figure out what's the meaning of life, why are we here, how to find happiness, provide for themselves, their families, or just how to stay alive! It's the reason why so many people picked themselves up and migrated to the ends of the Earth. It's good to know something of your past, but baby, you can't live there. There's a reason why your rear view mirror is really small and your windshield is huge. Get what I'm saying?

You may think you are "boaring", but just consider this: So many people from these ancient World cultures are boared senseless with it. They crave Western culture and are fascinated with our music, our dance, our fashions, our media.

In a nutshell peanut, everybody is feeling a sense of emptiness or dissatisfaction on some level, because we've been brainwashed to believe that we are separate from that greatness which created all things and that we are not enough. The secrate to filling that void is not drugging yourself with the fantasy of a connection to some great other, but realizing the greatness within yourself. Nothing can come close to giving you the sense of fullfillment like your own achievements and living life on your own terms. How do I know this? Experience. I actually am descended from a royal line on my father's side. On my mother's dide my grand father was one of the founding members of one of our countries political parties and was a very successful and wealthy businessman. It doesn't mean jack diddly squat. Those were their achievements. It wasn't until I started working on achieving the life I wanted to live that I began to have any sense of fullfilment and satisfaction. All the greatness you will ever need is within you and working to achieve your own self actualization is something no one can ever take from you or dispute. Unlock the greatness within you. What an adventure awaits you!

 

[Shanazel]

Hmmm. I'll bet 85% of the males in my family are 90% Neanderthal. :think:

 

[Aniseteph]

I do feel sorry for the Neanderthals. It's rather cool that their DNA is still out there and kicking.

ITA with what Tarik said. :clap:. It's a nice story to think you've got something exotic and exciting in your ancestry, but how much does it really matter compared to who you are and what you do? I hope you're feeling happier about it. And you're a belly dancer - belly dancers are never ordinary.

 

[khanjar]

My DH got me a genetic test kit for my birthday at my request. I'm adopted on my dad's side and was curious about health issues and such. I admit to being a bit disappointed that my test results also indicated that I have no Middle Eastern ancestry. I'm just plain old European white. I feel genetically uninteresting and am now experiencing white guilt about (apparently) having a latent wish to be "exotic" and "interesting." Why do I equate being non-white as more interesting (in a good way) and white people as being boring (in a bad way)? How has this crept into my way of thinking? Is this some sort of bizarre form of racism? Funny thing is, I never thought about belly dance to become an "exotic other", I just like it. Maybe I had some unknown hope of connecting with the culture on a personal level that has now been dashed. I need to focus on the fact that I have no major genetic health issues or something because I'm obviously over-thinking this.


I decided to post this here because only other belly dancers can relate to something so bizarre

Yeah, I do understand one hundred percent what you are talking about here but let you and others be the judge as to my understanding;

My sense is white isn't cool in polite western society where anything other than white is a major disadvantage in less than polite western society ?

I have a half filipino cousin who is doing very well where his customers are mostly female and another who is half Indian also doing very well on the world stage, where I wonder how much politics plays a part or is it coloured people in predominantly white western society have to work especially hard just to be accepted long before they achieve anything else where I am inclined to feel my cousins success is more to do with the latter given what the have told me of them in their teens where even the police took issue with them for just walking down the road for the area they grew up in resisted foreign integration right up until the nineties through it being a militaristic poor part of the country.

You see perhaps it is the polite societal conscience can see gains to be made in apology and perhaps sycophancy?

I myself I know what I am as genetic testing was part of finding out what I was to try and stop me self destructing beyond what I had destructed thus far where there was at that time only one step further to take and there was no coming back from that, yeah I was at my wits end! But I found out what I was which squelched the pressure I was under as first born of the new generation for yeah I can't have kids- yippee ! For if anyone doesn't know, I have a genetic difference in that although I look male I am not entirely where part of the deal is infertility- it ends with me 900 years maybe, but nature has decided and I respect nature !

But of my testing I was told my genes are old and their origin seems to be the western area of Africa, where maybe I could fantasise as to who notable in history my lot belong to where really, what does it matter the past is just that and we do love in a far better age now for we are more civilised than what we were. we have progressed and as to who we are, would we be happier being part of something better than what we were?

 

[Shanazel]

Oh, Jane, haven't you ever read European history? Boring this bunch was not. Check out the following just for starters:

Gráinne Ní Mháille (Ireland)

Boddicca (Celtic Britain)

Anne Bonny and Mary Read (England)

Elizabeth I (England)

Anne Hutchinson (English America)

Gudrid Thorbjornardottir (Norse)

Gertrude Bell (English)

Gwenllian ferch Gruffydd (Wales)

Emmeline and Christabel Pankhurst (English)

Anne Frank (German)

Dr. Elsi Inglis (Scotland)

Black Agnes Randolph (Scotland)

Æthelfleda (Mercia)

Jeanne d'Arc (France)

Emilija Pliaterytė (Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth)


And I haven't even started with exotic ladies like Mata Hari (she was framed), Ella Watson (also framed), Ida Rubenstein, and Isadora Duncan.

I could go on and on and on.

 

[Mosaic]

Hey aren't we all related to Lucy the first "mother" in Africa - that is pretty exciting & quite amazing - a tinsy drop of her blood courses through all of us no matter where we come from or our skin colour So hi all you cousins of mine out there
~Mosaic

 

[Aniseteph]

Hello distant relations!

IIRC Mata Hari started out as a Dutch housewife.

 

[Duvet]

100% European? That makes you 100% related to me! Hi cousin Jane. We don't need interesting ancestors to lead interesting lives ouselves. Lets break the mould and be the yardstick for the next generation!

 

[~Diana~]

Nothing to feel bad about girl but I can totally understand that too. I'm a MUTT! I have so many cultural backgrounds that not one really stands out as more significant as another for me to really embrase it and make it mine. My backgrounds are: scottish, austrian, polish, british, american, canadian, and something else that I can't remember right now. I'm very envious of people who have a culture that is theirs.

 

[Shanazel]

Sounds to me like you're pure Canadian, eh?