Mariles

Hi, i´ve just found this on a Web site about bellydance costumes. I don´t know if this is normal, or if i just don´t agree with it. My mouth became open when I saw this, i think this is more likely to see in a stripper or something like that. Do you usually do this? Or is it normal and ethic?

I really don´t like it.

Photo Gallery3

Here you can see two bellydancers holding money on their costumes, and a man putting another dollar on it.

Farasha Hanem

I was FURIOUS at what I saw; so furious, I sent the following e-mail to the company:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am a new bellydance student, and saw a link to you online store on a forum I'm a member of. What I saw on your site offended me, because I've been taught bellydance ethics by my teacher. In your photo gallery 3, you have pics of bellydancers allowing restaurant customers to touch the dancer, and put money in various parts of her costume. My teacher taught us that bellydancers should NEVER allow a member of an audience to touch her in any way, and that it is unladylike to accept tips herself. Rather, she is to ask someone else (waiter, for instance) to gather her tips for her, then to graciously give the helper a tip from hers. It's this kind of thing that degrades the art of bellydance. A bellydancer is first and foremost, a lady of impeccable character, and an artist second. I hope you realize that what you, and the dancers in the photos, are allowing audience members to do to them, is degrading and demeaning to the bellydance artform. I certainly hope you and the dancers change your way of doing business.

Yours angrily,
Farasha Hanem



Perhaps there are others that have a very different opinion from me, but I'm merely expressing my viewpoint. I feel very strongly about this.

Shanazel

I was never comfortable with tips in the hip band, but it was accepted procedure in many venues. I even occasionally saw tips under a bra strap, which I liked even less. Never in the cleavage of the bra, though. Never, ever, ever. When I am in a tipping venue, I hand the tip to the dancer or place it on the table for her and let her stash it herself. Occasionally one will point to her hip band, but I smile, shake my head, and push the tip on the table nearer to her so she can retrieve it or not. I didn't like being touched and I don't like touching. Other dancers are welcome to do as they wish.

da Sage

The ones with the dollars all down the front of the bra and the belt are a bit scary, aren't they?

I personally don't like body tipping (as an audience member), because I'm not a "touchy-feely" sort of person. But I do like to talk to the dancers, so it's kind of a wash. I know MANY excellent, respectable dancers who take body tips, but normally they go on the side of the hip, or under the back bra straps (a dancer can sometimes control this by moving parts of her body away from an inappropriate tipper, but no one can be flawlessly vigilant all the time). I really don't want to know how all those dollars wound up in the center front of the belt and bra in the picture.

Because the local standard is for body tips, it is kind of awkward for those dancers who choose not to take them. If someone goes to a local restaurant 3 times, and the fourth time they body-tip the dancer before she goes on her tip round (where she carries a basket or urn for tips - surprise!), then everyone feels weird.

But the whole restaurant business is full of personal boundary issues. You are often dancing for an audience who doesn't understand the artistic value of what you're doing. Audience members might not sit down from their interactive dance segment. Other diners might spontaneously join you in the middle of your most challenging/favorite number, ruining your routine. And then there are comments, which might not even be in a language you understand.

KuteNurse

That is pretty bad. They look like strippers accepting tips in the bra and hip belt. da Sage, when I was at the Med Cruise restaurant, a BDer accepted tips the same way. I thought it was a bit much also.

Salome

Dear Mariles,

tipping the dancer in her costume, in the US, is a pretty normal standard in restaurant and nightclub venues. It's customary enough that the general public are familiar with this custom even if they are not overly familiar with belly dance itself. Like da Sage said, most dancers that take tips in the costume will tell you that the guide deposits away from the breast and crotch area.

Reen.Blom

Hey Farasha here is a hug for you *hug*

I am glad we have you here on the forums!

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Ankhet

I did a small show for a friends birthday party not to long ago. I also did henna on the ladies. They walked up to me and touched the money to my forehead as I danced. No one touched me or placed money in my costume. My friends family are from India. The money I later split with the local Hindu temple.

Mariles

Thnks for the replies, I agree totally, it was chocking, but it was the first similar situation that i saw, i really didn´t know how serious and bad it was. Thanks for your words, you did great sending the e-mail Fanaha Harem. I also think that bellydancers are expressing an art, people don´t put money in a flamenco dacer's costume or in another type of dance clothes. In strippers, it's normal to see, but bellydancers are not selling anything to be baught, and certainly NOT their body. They express their art, and i think they deserve as much respect as the others. Thankyou very much to everybody, now it became much more clear to me.

lizaj

Normal to where?
You'll see that in Turkey, you'll see it in the UK. Dancers are usually very specific about where is acceptable. eg back bra strap, side of belt and yes they do have to be wary of leery men.
Many won't accept it at all but in a country like Turkey the dancers may rely on tips for any money at all!
In Egypt, money is lavished on dancers in clubs by way of a shower of money . So they don't touch the dancer.

Whe it comes to NOT selling your body, I am afraid you have to accept that while we amateurs semi-pros or professional teacher-dancers in the West may not be selling our bodies, dancers in seedy clubs in the ME are likely to be. Let's face it only the top dancers make a lot of money and even then they are frowned upon by the conservative elements in their society.
Your parents and partner may think what you and I are doing is fine; in Egypt you visit a show, have a dancer at your wedding but woe betide the daughter who would love to dance or the son who wants to marry one!