Brea

Hi everyone,

I've been gone a long time (no internet), but I just had to mention what I've seen since I made my move. I had an audition at a restaurant where I later found out the person who actually needed to audition me wasn't even there...then I danced at the same restaurant for an 'open stage', ostensibly so the person who was supposed to see me could audition me, and it turned out to be a dance festival for which they were serving specials and other things. There were regular dancers there as well, but a good deal of us were unpaid, it was horribly organized and none of the people running the show even spoke to, smiled at, or clapped for the unpaid dancers. However, the ones who WERE paid were the biggest shock of all: mostly extremely skinny with breast implants and they did not dance. What I mean here is not : they danced in a style I found stiff or bizarre. I mean: they DID NOT DANCE. They looked pretty, got up onstage, walked back and forth a few times, then got down again. The stage area was also kind of dangerous, as it was quite small and only accessible by a wobbly plastic step stool. I did not get a thank you for dancing, and we were not allowed to go into the crowd for tips. As I was leaving, the owner's brother told me I was an amazing dancer but I really ought to lose a little weight. Is this the kind of attitude that I should expect? And are bellydancers really not chosen for their talent, but because they vaguely resemble out of work strippers? I really don't understand. I mean, I'm sure I could be skinnier but this was ridiculous.

Separately, I was invited to another restaurant for an audition. It took me two and a half hours to get there on the bus. Once I arrived, the owner demanded a DVD of me, and asked why I didn't have one. He informed me that I would not be able to audition, and that he only wanted to watch a video of my dancing. Unfortunately I had not brought a DVD of myself, so after this five minute conversation had to spend another two and a half hours on the bus. The audition for the burlesque show was fun, they were a lot nicer, but they already have too many bellydancers. The only other place that was hiring informed me that if I was not young, thin, pretty, and Arabic looking, I was out of luck. At least they were honest on the phone. That particular place said they would not hire any dancer over the age of 35. When I think of all the amazing dancers that are over that age I am shocked.

I am, on the other hand, performing in a cabaret in December. I have had a good experience with that part of the bellydance world, but everything else has been an absolute nightmare. Is this what I ought to expect in the world of dance on the mainland? One of my former dance partners (who used to be in ballet and quit) said that's how professional dance is everywhere. For a dance community that always seems so accepting it's been very disappointing.

Any words of advice or encouragement would be much appreciated.

-Brea

PS. By the way, does it make me less of a professional because I don't play zills? The noise they make drives me insane even when other people play them, so I really don't like having that noise next to my head...

SaraKat

I think the best thing you can do in this situation is to run away. These people sound like they have absolutely no respect for bellydance or bellydancers. It's not worth putting up with their crap even if they pay you well, which I would doubt they would given their terrible attitude.

My worst performance experience was honestly not as bad as what you are describing. But I'll share the story anyway because it's kind of funny (aside from being infuriating)...
My troupe was hired to dance at a private party in my hometown. I dance with my mom and sister and my teacher Nandana (who is not related to us, and who puts up with our familial wackiness and probably deserves a medal of honor or something). On this particular evening Nandana couldn't make it, so it was just me, my mom and my little sister, who at the time I think was 18.
The party was at this enormous house. We were a "surprise" for the guest of honor so the host wanted us to wait outside before we came in, even though it was the dead of winter. They didn't tell us about this ahead of time, so we said no, we'll hide inside if you want us to hide, and if the cat gets out of the bag it's not our problem. So the host smuggles us inside and we wait around for about an hour twiddling our thumbs in a guest room upstairs.
When we finally are allowed downstairs, we realize that the "stage" area they have set up for us is about a third of what they told us it would be and there is no way we will be able to all fit. So we frantically rework our set and axe all of the 3-person dances (this is why it's great to know how to do group improv!).
So my mom and sister go out and do a duet in the living room for all of the guests while I wait in the adjoining kitchen with my sword getting ready to do a solo. The guests are all hooting and hollering and generally acting mildly inappropriate and I can tell my mom is getting annoyed, but they keep going until the end of the song.
Then it's my turn and I walk out with my scimitar. One of the older ladies in the audience shouts at me: "OH NO! Is this going to be the LORENA BOBBITT dance?!"
Everyone laughs. I ignore her.
She decides I haven't heard her so she shouts it again, this time even louder.
I still ignore her. (what am I going to do, shout back "No! And you're a moron!")
Throughout the entire dance, the WOMEN in the audience were all sneering at me and making rude comments, like "How much to do you charge per hour?" and "Will you teach me how to do that for my husband?" and worse. I just glazed my eyes over and pretended they didn't exist, but it was terrible! The strangest thing was we were not wearing revealing costumes-- the "worst" thing about it was our exposed stomachs, but we looked very ATS and were otherwise very covered.
Anyway, so I finished that dance and did a duet with my mom, and then my sister was doing a solo, so my mom and I were waiting in the kitchen again when they get a call on the phone. No one picks up (even though there are guests standing in the kitchen), so it goes to the answering machine, where an elderly lady tells them she's very very sorry, but Aunt Ruth's struggle with cancer just came to an end tonight, and someone from the family needs to come to the assisted living facility as soon as possible.
Do the other people in the kitchen go to get the host? No, they down another Miller Lite like nothing just happened.
What?!?!
Anyway, so that was my worst (and most surreal) performance experience thus far.

Kharis

Why do dancers allow themselves to be treated so shoddily? Auditioning for restaurant work is just not done in the UK. None of the dancers I know would lower themselves. This is not meant as an attack for your naivete, I think that you are trying very hard to get work, but too hard. The terribly demeaning experience you've had should be a lesson to you. Have more confidence in yourself and don't undersell yourself or cheapen yourself by allowing people like this to use you. No restaurant gig is worth it.

belly_dancer

where are you located Brea??
I have never auditioned for free....(though possibly others in this area have) they can pay me to dance one time (at this point in my career I suggest a 5-6 week "run") at their restaurant & if they like me then they can hire me on a regular basis....
the whole idea of hiring a dancer is that you will increase business for that restaurant.... have you thought about coming up w/ a "marketing" plan, then approaching places where YOU WOULD feel comfortable?!?!

nefetari

Well amazing things going on..you where a great dancer but needed some weight los.Ai ai ai I wonder how people can say even these things.

janaki

HI Brea,

That sounds not good at all. I have heard this kind of stories before. What I would like to advise you is (I wrote this in another thread) layout your rules too. Talk to the people that are auditioning for all the details. If they are not accessible or not giving you answers I would not go there. If you have a web site, let your potetial hirers know about it and ask them to check it out first. In this world many people exploit weak perosnality. I don't mean to say you are, but saying yes, to everything they ask, kinda gives them that kind of impression.

If this helps these are my set of questions I ask before any audition or negotiation for a gig.

1. What kind of place I am gonna dance?
2. What kind of people I am dancing to? (audience demographics)
3. What kind of dancer they are looking for? (useally, the answer you get it, " we are looking for a dancer llike this and like that"). With this answer you will know whether you are the person for this gig or not.
4. Ask for the budget and payment method. Don't be shy to ask, If not they think you are desperate to dance or a charity act.
5. Duration of the shows and costume changes and all the other stuff affter this

Beacuse someone said something nasty or unpleasnt it doesn't make you worse dancer or ugly dancer. Feel beautiful, be strong and believe in yourself and go after things.

Hugs
Janaki

belly_dancer

oh & add
#6... do NOT offer costume changes til YOU PERSONALLY SEE the
"changing room"!!!!!

Brea

Hi everyone,

Well I can tell you it certainly wasn't like this in Hawai'i. Since I'm new to this city (Minneapolis) nobody has told me how things work. As far as being a pushover, that I am not; I used to be a streetfighter in my youth and am about the farthest from a wilting flower you can imagine. I do have a paid performance coming up that the local big-name dancer, Cassandra, invited me to (and she's been very nice and accomodating). She has also mentioned that they aren't the nicest around here. Another show I did they told me to be there at 10, then said it wouldn't happen until 11:15, then I didn't dance until midnight. Of course I had gotten ready to dance and put my costume on by 10, removed my belt so I could sit and wait, and then put the belt back on at 11, so by the time I actually danced at this place I had been standing for an hour because I didn't want to go take off the belt again. Then when it was my turn (there were also bands playing that night) the sound guy started playing my CD as 'filler music'! When I went to request that they turn it off so I could, um, use it for my dance, they gave me a dirty look. When I began to perform, waitresses and other people were walking through my performance space (the stage had too much stuff on it) so I bumped into several of them while I was dancing, or they ran into me. Then my belt fell off during a backbend...what a nightmare. I got out of there so fast I forgot my CD. Anyway I'm not impressed at all...and I didn't get any tips that night (probably because people thought my belt might fall off again). All in all, I am very unimpressed with the professional community here. Yet again, the owner of that club didn't even watch me dance; he was talking with someone else. This has been very upsetting, and I don't know if I ought to talk to Cassandra or the Oriental Dance Guild about it. Maybe they think this is how it's supposed to be...

-Brea

KuteNurse

Brea,

I am sorry about all the trouble you have experienced. Maybe another good source would be to email Debbie and ask for her advice. Was one of the restaurants the Med Cruise? If so, I will NEVER go there again. I am really too new to this to give you advice, but just keep your head up and know you are a good dancer and hopefully things will start getting better. Maybe if you get some performance gigs that are non-restaurant gigs? Like auctions, weddings etc. Just be careful. Hugs!

Brea

Hi KuteNurse-

As a matter of fact, it was. The restaurant that was the most problematic was the Med Cruise (the one where I was invited to audition, nobody was there I was supposed to dance for, then they had that 'festival', etc). After that experience I would never WANT to work for those people. Even the friend I brought with me (who is an actress, not a dancer, but still) was horrified at the way everyone was treated. ALL those other dancers, by the way, were dancing for free. There had to be at least 15 of us, only three or four of which were paid for that evening. Odd that they called it an 'open stage' instead of a 'bellydance festival' which they had been advertising. The place was packed. I was singularly unimpressed with them.

-Brea