A thought-provoking article on bellydance forums and such

[Caroline_afifi]

I have just took a look at at Neon's website. I thought I would take a look incase I misunderstood what she was trying to communicate.
As it turns out, she has misunderstood what she is trying to communicate.

There on her homepage are links to
A) Her FACEBOOK page
B) Her TRIBE page
c) There are a number of videos for you to look at. Just unlike youtube in so much you cannot comment.

Neon, I know you are probably reading this so please tell us How can you be so daft?

I am sorry to sound so insensed but this sort of thing gets right up my nostrils.

THINK THINK.

[Reen.Blom]

Originally Posted by adiemus

I'm hoping this is seen as an innocent question, but why is it important to care about one's standing amongst other artists? I would have thought to be honest and true to yourself, treat others as you would be treated, that should be sufficient to make anyone think about what they write about, whether in a forum like this, to the general media, or through an article.

Being true to yourself does not always pay your bills.

[Makeda Maysa]

Originally Posted by Reen.Blom

Being true to yourself does not always pay your bills.

Here, here!

The truth is that, no matter how we may want to avoid it or deny it, for those of us who hope to make a living out of this dance or who truly care about our standing in the community, there is a good case for being careful about what you say online. The truth is that we all get ideas about what/who people are from what they say on message boards and the like. I don't think it can be helped. I surely do have impressions of people based on what I have read from them - that does not mean that I won't give them a chance in person, but it does mean that I already have thoughts when I meet them. Again, can't be helped. So, hey - say whatever you want on the internet, but be prepared to deal with the fallout, both personally and professionally.

I know that I definitely censor what I say, as I belong to a troupe of artists. My statements don't just reflect on me - they also reflect, inadvertently, on every other woman in my troupe. We all feel responsible for each other and take each other into account. We try to conduct ourselves professionally and that means in 3D and online. A stupid remark may be enough to color someone's opinion about you and cause them to not give you a chance professionally.

[Caroline_afifi]

Originally Posted by Makeda Maysa

Here, here!

The truth is that, no matter how we may want to avoid it or deny it, for those of us who hope to make a living out of this dance or who truly care about our standing in the community, there is a good case for being careful about what you say online. The truth is that we all get ideas about what/who people are from what they say on message boards and the like. I don't think it can be helped. I surely do have impressions of people based on what I have read from them - that does not mean that I won't give them a chance in person, but it does mean that I already have thoughts when I meet them. Again, can't be helped. So, hey - say whatever you want on the internet, but be prepared to deal with the fallout, both personally and professionally.

I know that I definitely censor what I say, as I belong to a troupe of artists. My statements don't just reflect on me - they also reflect, inadvertently, on every other woman in my troupe. We all feel responsible for each other and take each other into account. We try to conduct ourselves professionally and that means in 3D and online. A stupid remark may be enough to color someone's opinion about you and cause them to not give you a chance professionally.

The problem is that most people know the silence is not an idicator of a good mind. Give me an honest upfront opinion any day. I have been in the exclusive company of people well known in this dance (and perhaps some would call them superstars) but there is every bit as much tittle tattle going on.
I speak for myself and would not repeat anything said by others. I am not concerned about the effects of my opinion if I know it to be true. If i am wrong then that is another matter. people form opinions about you no matter what you do. I and others will be discussed any way.
These are learning forums and I dont care for hierachy and self placed echelons of society, especially those who explicitly epose their own duplicity and double standards in the name of perceived fame.
I will not say another word about this person as she has achieved what she set out to do... have her name on everyones tongues.

[adiemus]

Caroline once again you've said what I wanted to.
Silence makes just as much impact as a spoken word in many situations.

I suppose the best thing that can be said about being silent is that you can't retract anything - but I remember something from some religious thing about 'sin of commission and sin of omission'. Being silent when you have an opinion is a sin of omission.

There is a real difference between being diplomatic about what you say and avoiding comment - I would prefer to make my stance known and do it diplomatically than leave it to the imagination (knowing how fertile some imaginations are!). It's also for me about authenticity, honesty and integrity. Unless I have no opinion (and I'm going about learning more so I can have an opinion) I think it's more honest to let people know my opinion than to lead others along 'as if' I agree.

I don't earn a living from dance, I earn it from my work as a pain therapist - I blog regularly, and what I say on my blog affects me professionally - so dancers are not alone in needing to take care about their reputation.

Being true to myself may not pay bills, but it helps me live with myself - and sleep at night.

[Kharmine]

It seemed to me the lady was saying that if one had nothing good to say one should say nothing at all. A idea that simply floors me, but then I've been a journalist for um, longer than dirt and have suffered the candid opinions of everyone and anyone who recognizes me from a byline.

According to the Dalai Lama, speech should be measured by the critieria of: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

If it isn't at least one of those things, perhaps it shouldn't be uttered -- I can go along with that. However, that would still leave plenty of opportunity to say things like "It isn't my cup of tea," which according to this person is still somehow too utterly, unbearably something awful.

At which point, all I can do is and advise the woman to try to find a reasonable compromise between slander and opinion. Telling folks to stifle themselves never works.

[Shanazel]

Hmm. Is it better to remain silent and be thought a bitch than to speak and remove all doubt?

[belly_dancer]

Originally Posted by Shanazel

Hmm. Is it better to remain silent and be thought a bitch than to speak and remove all doubt?

heeheehee... I love you!!!!

[Aisha Azar]

Originally Posted by jenc

I really don't even think that is true. I know that everything evolves BUT Fashions in ART come and go, let alone BD. Not everything stands the test of time. And I HAVE seen some truly dreadful things in the name of FUSION.

If she means ATS, tribal fusion, Gothic etc. some forms of these do seem to actually be moving away from BD. Yes they have large numbers of fans, but they seem to me to be approaching the status of separate dances. In some instances I say, very skillful, but it leaves me cold. I feel I'm entitled to my opinion.

In other instances, we have also seen innovatin for the sake of innovation, where it seems to more important to be the originator of XYZ fusion, than to have seriously considered how well the idea works in practice (let alone in public).

If we follow Neon and never say anything critical about new things, we wil have to sit through more and more awful stuff, especially when embarassment makes us clap harder than we should!!!

It is a fact of life, but I have learnt a lot from seeing criticisms of other people!!!

Dear Jen,
I have been saying this same thing for about , oh, at least 15 years now, if not longer. there is a point at which every ounce of the Middle East is wrung out of a thing, so please do not call it belly dance. Some incredible things happen in fusion and should be strong enough to stand up to their own label instead of attaching to something popular to gain attention. Guess that makes ME one of the people Neon is referring to. ( No surprise there. I have been dragged over the coals on several forums that I do not even belong to!!)
Regards,
A'isha

[Aisha Azar]

Originally Posted by Suheir

Quite right, we *are* consumers and Neon, especially, is a product with a marketing machine behind it. As paying customers, students have every right to give their opinions of the quality of teaching and theatre audiences, likewise. The belly dance "community" seems especially reluctant to give honest reviews of shows in its magazines. I'd like to see a "Good Housekeeping" style comparison of teachers' classes, for instance, but that's never going to happen!

Dear Suheir,
I once tried to give an honest review in Habibi, and it was well thought out and not nasty at all. the editor changed it so it was "less critical". You are absolutely right about your points above.
Regards,
A'isha