Support from family and friends?

kayshier · 08-08-2008, 06:44 PM

I am quite sure there have been threads on this before but I figured i might as well..

I have been somewhat lucky in the respect that my mother has supported fully, my desire to learn how to belly dance. as a matter of fact it was she who suggested i do it, considering my previous dance experience she felt i would look good doing it. Her only concern was how it would affect my professional image in my day to day job (as i do work in a male dominated field) and many people have misconeptions about belly dance.

anyway, initially we kept the fact that i had started to learn how to belly dance from other members of my family, especially those who are conservative Christians, because we both figured that it would raise eyebrows and generate comments. About 2 months ago, when our class had the show among family and friends, my mom decided to let other people know that i was belly dancing...

for the most part among friends the repsonse has been very positive..they all want to learn or ask me questions etc etc...however some members of my family are dead set against it, not to the point of casting me out from the family (as yet) but they have made comments about it not conforming to what a young lady should be doing, and its not the Christian way etc etc.

so far i have not been unduly affected by it, because i have tried though unsuccessfully to rectify the misconceptions in their head...they still think the dance is akin to 'wining' and getting men all riled up by the movements.

I was wondering what has it been like for some of you out there and how did you deal with it?

Reen.Blom · 08-08-2008, 07:36 PM

I was lucky enough to have full support of my family and my best friend is mad about it too!! Main point is support of immediate family, gosh if my mother appoves, what do I care what my Aunt thinks? LOL Luckily my mom is quite enthusiatic, even records for me from TV if there is something about belly dance.... LOL

My fiance supports as well, endures patiently through demontsration of video clips, dicussion of costumes, demonstation of moves, askes every day if I have practiced, and chuckles with me at the quotations from belly dance forums... even enquires time to time what the forum ladies are up to....LOL

Hey kayshier, it is awesome that you got the guts to explain to your conservative relatives about the dance!

Best of luck!
*hug*

Mercedes · 08-09-2008, 12:13 AM

My grandma was a very conservative Christian, and an original battle hardened womans libber. I have always regretted being too young to know how important it would be to know her as a woman instead of a grandma. I told her I belly danced. She wrinkled her nose, looked very curious and asked, "well, do you lay on your belly and roll around? It seems like that would not be much fun for you honey." She had followed my ballet experience since I had been a small child and just couldn't see the need to go to the floor from en pointe. When I told her, she held her own belly and just laughed until we were both crying. And then attended every show I was in.

I also work in a male dominated industry in my day job, my partner and I are general contractors. Every one knows I belly dance and they have extreme respect for that. Not one person I come into contact with has ever been derogatory, very curious, but not negatively so. I think it is how you introduce it. They also know me first as a no nonsense builder and then a dancer. So, my reputation carries over and they would not think I would take on something that was less than respectable.

The fun part is that years ago, I only danced to live music. My most favorite musician was a fellow general contractor. He played violin for me... incredible music that wrapped itself around my heart. We made magic together. We participated in a public tv show and were both late to the first taping. We both rushed in from our respective jobsites, he was late due to inspections that had drug on too long. I was late from a concrete pour that needed babysitting. We both rushed into our clothing and personality changes and not missing a beat turned it on for the camera. When I review this footage now, I get the greatest giggle thinking of what we had both been doing an hour before... you can't tell.

Long story short - anyone will act towards you the way that you train them to act. If you are scandalized, they will be too. If you are a respected professional, they will behave accordingly. Check out my mag: Shimmy Chronicles dance magazine - Subscribe now for your FREE copy!. Happy dancing.

Mosaic · 08-09-2008, 04:51 AM

I've never had a problem with anyone, friends, family, neighbours etc, I openly tell anyone that I belly dance, and everyone even relative strangers are positive.

My soon to be 80 year old mother thinks it is wonderful and tells her friends that her daughter is a bellydancer( She still lives in NZ)

I have asked my belly dance friends this question out of curiosity and they have only ever had the same positive reactions from everyone. I think Aussie folk are very laidback about such things and believe that whatever beats your drum or toots your trumpet is quite OK. I think that Kiwis are probably as laid back about it all as Aussies.
~Mosaic

trang1808 · 08-11-2008, 06:23 AM

You should wait and persuade them what you are doing and how do you feel about it. If they do not accept immediately, just wait... You love it and you can do it. I learn this from my friend

Try you best and believe yourself.

08-08-2008, 06:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
kayshier Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Trinidad and Tobago Posts: 163	Support from family and friends? I am quite sure there have been threads on this before but I figured i might as well.. I have been somewhat lucky in the respect that my mother has supported fully, my desire to learn how to belly dance. as a matter of fact it was she who suggested i do it, considering my previous dance experience she felt i would look good doing it. Her only concern was how it would affect my professional image in my day to day job (as i do work in a male dominated field) and many people have misconeptions about belly dance. anyway, initially we kept the fact that i had started to learn how to belly dance from other members of my family, especially those who are conservative Christians, because we both figured that it would raise eyebrows and generate comments. About 2 months ago, when our class had the show among family and friends, my mom decided to let other people know that i was belly dancing... for the most part among friends the repsonse has been very positive..they all want to learn or ask me questions etc etc...however some members of my family are dead set against it, not to the point of casting me out from the family (as yet) but they have made comments about it not conforming to what a young lady should be doing, and its not the Christian way etc etc. so far i have not been unduly affected by it, because i have tried though unsuccessfully to rectify the misconceptions in their head...they still think the dance is akin to 'wining' and getting men all riled up by the movements. I was wondering what has it been like for some of you out there and how did you deal with it?

08-08-2008, 07:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
Reen.Blom V.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Between Heaven and Earth Posts: 2,262	I was lucky enough to have full support of my family and my best friend is mad about it too!! Main point is support of immediate family, gosh if my mother appoves, what do I care what my Aunt thinks? LOL Luckily my mom is quite enthusiatic, even records for me from TV if there is something about belly dance.... LOL My fiance supports as well, endures patiently through demontsration of video clips, dicussion of costumes, demonstation of moves, askes every day if I have practiced, and chuckles with me at the quotations from belly dance forums... even enquires time to time what the forum ladies are up to....LOL Hey kayshier, it is awesome that you got the guts to explain to your conservative relatives about the dance! Best of luck! hug __________________ Join WORLD BELLY DANCE DAY! www.worldbellydanceday.com

08-09-2008, 12:13 AM	#3 (permalink)
Mercedes Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 5	family and professional support My grandma was a very conservative Christian, and an original battle hardened womans libber. I have always regretted being too young to know how important it would be to know her as a woman instead of a grandma. I told her I belly danced. She wrinkled her nose, looked very curious and asked, "well, do you lay on your belly and roll around? It seems like that would not be much fun for you honey." She had followed my ballet experience since I had been a small child and just couldn't see the need to go to the floor from en pointe. When I told her, she held her own belly and just laughed until we were both crying. And then attended every show I was in. I also work in a male dominated industry in my day job, my partner and I are general contractors. Every one knows I belly dance and they have extreme respect for that. Not one person I come into contact with has ever been derogatory, very curious, but not negatively so. I think it is how you introduce it. They also know me first as a no nonsense builder and then a dancer. So, my reputation carries over and they would not think I would take on something that was less than respectable. The fun part is that years ago, I only danced to live music. My most favorite musician was a fellow general contractor. He played violin for me... incredible music that wrapped itself around my heart. We made magic together. We participated in a public tv show and were both late to the first taping. We both rushed in from our respective jobsites, he was late due to inspections that had drug on too long. I was late from a concrete pour that needed babysitting. We both rushed into our clothing and personality changes and not missing a beat turned it on for the camera. When I review this footage now, I get the greatest giggle thinking of what we had both been doing an hour before... you can't tell. Long story short - anyone will act towards you the way that you train them to act. If you are scandalized, they will be too. If you are a respected professional, they will behave accordingly. Check out my mag: Shimmy Chronicles dance magazine - Subscribe now for your FREE copy!. Happy dancing.

08-09-2008, 04:51 AM	#4 (permalink)
Mosaic Moderator Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Melbourne Australia, but a Kiwi Posts: 852	I've never had a problem with anyone, friends, family, neighbours etc, I openly tell anyone that I belly dance, and everyone even relative strangers are positive. My soon to be 80 year old mother thinks it is wonderful and tells her friends that her daughter is a bellydancer( She still lives in NZ) I have asked my belly dance friends this question out of curiosity and they have only ever had the same positive reactions from everyone. I think Aussie folk are very laidback about such things and believe that whatever beats your drum or toots your trumpet is quite OK. I think that Kiwis are probably as laid back about it all as Aussies. ~Mosaic Last edited by Mosaic; 08-09-2008 at 04:53 AM.

08-11-2008, 06:23 AM	#5 (permalink)
trang1808 Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Hochiminh city in Vietnam Posts: 55	You should wait and persuade them what you are doing and how do you feel about it. If they do not accept immediately, just wait... You love it and you can do it. I learn this from my friend Try you best and believe yourself. __________________ My dream is devoting my lifetime for bellydance.