Women over 40 - Page 2

adiemus · 07-09-2008, 07:20 PM

My life has got richer, more complex, broader, relaxed, creative, intriguing, my relationships are stronger, more fulfilling and less dependent, my work is more intellectually satisfying, my creativity is much greater, my hobbies more diverse. I'm more accepting of ambiguity, more relaxed about things like tidyness and other people's opinions.
My body is in better shape and more curvy. Sex is better because I'm relaxed!
I wear things because I like them, not because they're fashionable.

I'm bothered by the images we see of women who are 40 plus - they look much younger than most women I see, they are held up as 'successes' and have phenomenal careers and polished children and stunning homes and are made out to be some new 'norm' that is just as unattainable as the young wee things that are held out as role models for my 15 year old daughter.

I'd love to see someone who is normal, who hasn't 'got it all' but is completely happy and serene and comfortable in her skin could be held up as an example and role model for us to admire.

And I'd love to see less emphasis on 'preserving your youthful looks' and 'aging gracefully' - what about some good disgraceful aging? I feel the need to wear purple and stomp in puddles and drink waaaay too much gin and just Be Myself!

Wrinkles are not only part of aging, they're life lines - tracking each experience just as a tattoo is usually about an important event. My first grey hair was when my daughter was born. My laugh lines by my eyes are about my life with my partner. My forehead wrinkles represent this past 18 months recovery from concussion. And my curving belly is about enjoying my food, having had two babies, and learning to be a woman not a girl.

Caroline_afifi · 07-09-2008, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adiemus

My life has got richer, more complex, broader, relaxed, creative, intriguing, my relationships are stronger, more fulfilling and less dependent, my work is more intellectually satisfying, my creativity is much greater, my hobbies more diverse. I'm more accepting of ambiguity, more relaxed about things like tidyness and other people's opinions.
My body is in better shape and more curvy. Sex is better because I'm relaxed!
I wear things because I like them, not because they're fashionable.

I'm bothered by the images we see of women who are 40 plus - they look much younger than most women I see, they are held up as 'successes' and have phenomenal careers and polished children and stunning homes and are made out to be some new 'norm' that is just as unattainable as the young wee things that are held out as role models for my 15 year old daughter.

I'd love to see someone who is normal, who hasn't 'got it all' but is completely happy and serene and comfortable in her skin could be held up as an example and role model for us to admire.

And I'd love to see less emphasis on 'preserving your youthful looks' and 'aging gracefully' - what about some good disgraceful aging? I feel the need to wear purple and stomp in puddles and drink waaaay too much gin and just Be Myself!

Wrinkles are not only part of aging, they're life lines - tracking each experience just as a tattoo is usually about an important event. My first grey hair was when my daughter was born. My laugh lines by my eyes are about my life with my partner. My forehead wrinkles represent this past 18 months recovery from concussion. And my curving belly is about enjoying my food, having had two babies, and learning to be a woman not a girl.

Perfectly put!! and you sound like great person to be with

Aisha Azar · 07-09-2008, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adiemus

My life has got richer, more complex, broader, relaxed, creative, intriguing, my relationships are stronger, more fulfilling and less dependent, my work is more intellectually satisfying, my creativity is much greater, my hobbies more diverse. I'm more accepting of ambiguity, more relaxed about things like tidyness and other people's opinions.
My body is in better shape and more curvy. Sex is better because I'm relaxed!
I wear things because I like them, not because they're fashionable.

I'm bothered by the images we see of women who are 40 plus - they look much younger than most women I see, they are held up as 'successes' and have phenomenal careers and polished children and stunning homes and are made out to be some new 'norm' that is just as unattainable as the young wee things that are held out as role models for my 15 year old daughter.

I'd love to see someone who is normal, who hasn't 'got it all' but is completely happy and serene and comfortable in her skin could be held up as an example and role model for us to admire.

And I'd love to see less emphasis on 'preserving your youthful looks' and 'aging gracefully' - what about some good disgraceful aging? I feel the need to wear purple and stomp in puddles and drink waaaay too much gin and just Be Myself!

Wrinkles are not only part of aging, they're life lines - tracking each experience just as a tattoo is usually about an important event. My first grey hair was when my daughter was born. My laugh lines by my eyes are about my life with my partner. My forehead wrinkles represent this past 18 months recovery from concussion. And my curving belly is about enjoying my food, having had two babies, and learning to be a woman not a girl.

And, my Dear, I am on my way to giving you huge REP because you have said it beautifully and without feeling the need to put down younger women!!
Big hugs,
A'isha

khanjar · 07-09-2008, 08:49 PM

I have long held the belief that age is a matter of mindset, sure our bodies age, everyone does, we will all hit forty and years beyond, but it is the mind I seek in a woman. I was out today with a good friend whom I do find sexy and she is 53, but acts well, not 53. When I first met her, I thought she was around the same age as myself, 40, can you believe my surprise when she told me her age, I was shocked. This woman is like myself, an art student, she models for life drawing and photographers, and is up for anything, and now it seems ME dance. It is just fun to watch her go for it, fearless and out for fun.

Interestingly now thinking about it, all my female friends are over forty bar one and the female friends far outnumber my male friends, I like my friends for their mind, their appearance takes second place if it takes any place at all, appearance is largely irrelevant.

Myself, I hit forty and ignored it, I did not see it as a sign of over the hill, I saw it as a teenager tempered with common sense, I can do so much, but I have an amount of common sense I did not have when I was younger. So far, these past few years have been the best times of my life. If this is older age , then I welcome it and those of a similar age and mindset.

You are only as old as you feel.

Caroline_afifi · 07-09-2008, 09:20 PM

what is it to feel old? lack of energy and vitality?
what is it to feel young? full of energy and vitality?
mmmm...

I have felt both at all ages. I am really trying to define this.

As a youth worker I feel it is about mindset and it is society that places expectations on us. Where and why did this happen?
Is it connected to responsibility? some young people have enormous responsibilities and they are often percieved as mature and vice versa.
I was a very different person at 21 but I can only think that it was lack of experience that made me different despite being a mum of two.
I thought of older people as being perfect and that everyone hit a certain age and they become good. If only.

Reen.Blom · 07-09-2008, 09:23 PM

On one hand its funny on the other stereotyping about women in general.... yucky....

khanjar · 07-09-2008, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caroline_afifi

what is it to feel old? lack of energy and vitality?
what is it to feel young? full of energy and vitality?
mmmm...

I have felt both at all ages. I am really trying to define this.

As a youth worker I feel it is about mindset and it is society that places expectations on us. Where and why did this happen?
Is it connected to responsibility? some young people have enormous responsibilities and they are often percieved as mature and vice versa.
I was a very different person at 21 but I can only think that it was lack of experience that made me different despite being a mum of two.
I thought of older people as being perfect and that everyone hit a certain age and they become good. If only.

My friend of 53, I asked her how she is the way she is, her reply was that life has got to be fun and enjoyment, or else why live. Sure life chucks some nasties at us, but it is how you look at those nasties that matter. Her motto, live each day as if it were your last. I agree wholeheartedly.

Farasha Hanem · 07-09-2008, 09:47 PM

I've read through this topic, and there have been many valid, mature points of view stated.

Although I'm 47, many times I feel like a child here, especially when it comes to the serious topics posted on this forum. I look up to many of the members, regardless of age. How have I changed since turning 40? Honestly? I still feel like the same person that I ever was inside, regardless of what my driver's license or mirror tell me. I like to think I've grown intellectually and emotionally; I certainly hope I have. I've made plenty of mistakes in the past 47 years, and I'm sure I'll make many more.

But even though I deal with adult issues just like everyone else, the fact remains that I'm still just a 10-year-old in a 47-year-old body. I still like video games, comic books, and cartoons, and I "fan girl" at the thought of a sci-fi or anime convention. I get excited when someone says there's lemon pie in the dessert area at a buffet. When I'm cleaning house, I bop around the apartment with earphones stuck in my ears, listening to Aerosmith on my pink mp3 player. Small things like the smell and color of a flower, or a butterfly floating in the breeze, hold my attention in wonder. Most of all, I've discovered that no matter how old I get, I'll never "know it all." When all is said and done, I guess I'll always be a child at heart.

khanjar · 07-09-2008, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farasha Hanem

I've read through this topic, and there have been many valid, mature points of view stated.

Although I'm 47, many times I feel like a child here, especially when it comes to the serious topics posted on this forum. I look up to many of the members, regardless of age. How have I changed since turning 40? Honestly? I still feel like the same person that I ever was inside, regardless of what my driver's license or mirror tell me. I like to think I've grown intellectually and emotionally; I certainly hope I have. I've made plenty of mistakes in the past 47 years, and I'm sure I'll make many more.

But even though I deal with adult issues just like everyone else, the fact remains that I'm still just a 10-year-old in a 47-year-old body. I still like video games, comic books, and cartoons, and I "fan girl" at the thought of a sci-fi or anime convention. I get excited when someone says there's lemon pie in the dessert area at a buffet. When I'm cleaning house, I bop around the apartment with earphones stuck in my ears, listening to Aerosmith on my pink mp3 player. Small things like the smell and color of a flower, or a butterfly floating in the breeze, hold my attention in wonder. Most of all, I've discovered that no matter how old I get, I'll never "know it all." When all is said and done, I guess I'll always be a child at heart.

Well said, we are all children at heart, if we let the child shine through.

Caroline_afifi · 07-09-2008, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farasha Hanem

I've read through this topic, and there have been many valid, mature points of view stated.

Although I'm 47, many times I feel like a child here, especially when it comes to the serious topics posted on this forum. I look up to many of the members, regardless of age. How have I changed since turning 40? Honestly? I still feel like the same person that I ever was inside, regardless of what my driver's license or mirror tell me. I like to think I've grown intellectually and emotionally; I certainly hope I have. I've made plenty of mistakes in the past 47 years, and I'm sure I'll make many more.

But even though I deal with adult issues just like everyone else, the fact remains that I'm still just a 10-year-old in a 47-year-old body. I still like video games, comic books, and cartoons, and I "fan girl" at the thought of a sci-fi or anime convention. I get excited when someone says there's lemon pie in the dessert area at a buffet. When I'm cleaning house, I bop around the apartment with earphones stuck in my ears, listening to Aerosmith on my pink mp3 player. Small things like the smell and color of a flower, or a butterfly floating in the breeze, hold my attention in wonder. Most of all, I've discovered that no matter how old I get, I'll never "know it all." When all is said and done, I guess I'll always be a child at heart.

We all will as we never lose some of these things. We may deal with disapointment differently, then on the other had not.

What you described is percieved as childish behaviour but perhaps it is just human behaviour. How many old people do you know who want an ice cream and get a strop if they dont get one? I have known a few, We dont lose out behaviour we just learn to curb it (or not whatever the case maybe). We just add mpre behaviours as we move through various phases but we keep them all.
None of us will ever know it all but some people like to ask more questions than others, this is not about age but personality.

One of my daughters (16) was watching a programme about a tribe in Namibia and was totally 'in there' when her older sister (22) came in and said 'why are you watching this shit?' this happend half and hour ago and then they broke into a 'toddlers' spat. My most intelligent daughter has been ranting about wanting chocolate cake for the past hour and now she is forcing me off the computer and now we are both bickering as equal teenagers (whilst I try to write something semi-intelligent of course).

07-09-2008, 07:20 PM	#11 (permalink)
adiemus Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Christchurch, New Zealand Posts: 965	My life has got richer, more complex, broader, relaxed, creative, intriguing, my relationships are stronger, more fulfilling and less dependent, my work is more intellectually satisfying, my creativity is much greater, my hobbies more diverse. I'm more accepting of ambiguity, more relaxed about things like tidyness and other people's opinions. My body is in better shape and more curvy. Sex is better because I'm relaxed! I wear things because I like them, not because they're fashionable. I'm bothered by the images we see of women who are 40 plus - they look much younger than most women I see, they are held up as 'successes' and have phenomenal careers and polished children and stunning homes and are made out to be some new 'norm' that is just as unattainable as the young wee things that are held out as role models for my 15 year old daughter. I'd love to see someone who is normal, who hasn't 'got it all' but is completely happy and serene and comfortable in her skin could be held up as an example and role model for us to admire. And I'd love to see less emphasis on 'preserving your youthful looks' and 'aging gracefully' - what about some good disgraceful aging? I feel the need to wear purple and stomp in puddles and drink waaaay too much gin and just Be Myself! Wrinkles are not only part of aging, they're life lines - tracking each experience just as a tattoo is usually about an important event. My first grey hair was when my daughter was born. My laugh lines by my eyes are about my life with my partner. My forehead wrinkles represent this past 18 months recovery from concussion. And my curving belly is about enjoying my food, having had two babies, and learning to be a woman not a girl. __________________ He wahine, he taonga- Every woman is a treasure(Maori proverb)

07-09-2008, 08:49 PM	#14 (permalink)
khanjar Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: UK Posts: 288	I have long held the belief that age is a matter of mindset, sure our bodies age, everyone does, we will all hit forty and years beyond, but it is the mind I seek in a woman. I was out today with a good friend whom I do find sexy and she is 53, but acts well, not 53. When I first met her, I thought she was around the same age as myself, 40, can you believe my surprise when she told me her age, I was shocked. This woman is like myself, an art student, she models for life drawing and photographers, and is up for anything, and now it seems ME dance. It is just fun to watch her go for it, fearless and out for fun. Interestingly now thinking about it, all my female friends are over forty bar one and the female friends far outnumber my male friends, I like my friends for their mind, their appearance takes second place if it takes any place at all, appearance is largely irrelevant. Myself, I hit forty and ignored it, I did not see it as a sign of over the hill, I saw it as a teenager tempered with common sense, I can do so much, but I have an amount of common sense I did not have when I was younger. So far, these past few years have been the best times of my life. If this is older age , then I welcome it and those of a similar age and mindset. You are only as old as you feel. __________________ I am a dream to some...and a nightmare to others. Last edited by khanjar; 07-09-2008 at 08:56 PM.

07-09-2008, 09:23 PM	#16 (permalink)
Reen.Blom V.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SA now UK(Newmarket) Posts: 2,251	On one hand its funny on the other stereotyping about women in general.... yucky.... __________________ Join WORLD BELLY DANCE DAY! www.worldbellydanceday.com

07-09-2008, 09:20 PM	#15 (permalink)
Caroline_afifi Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Liverpool UK Posts: 824	what is it to feel old? lack of energy and vitality? what is it to feel young? full of energy and vitality? mmmm... I have felt both at all ages. I am really trying to define this. As a youth worker I feel it is about mindset and it is society that places expectations on us. Where and why did this happen? Is it connected to responsibility? some young people have enormous responsibilities and they are often percieved as mature and vice versa. I was a very different person at 21 but I can only think that it was lack of experience that made me different despite being a mum of two. I thought of older people as being perfect and that everyone hit a certain age and they become good. If only.

07-09-2008, 09:47 PM	#18 (permalink)
Farasha Hanem Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In the heartland of the USA Posts: 309	I've read through this topic, and there have been many valid, mature points of view stated. Although I'm 47, many times I feel like a child here, especially when it comes to the serious topics posted on this forum. I look up to many of the members, regardless of age. How have I changed since turning 40? Honestly? I still feel like the same person that I ever was inside, regardless of what my driver's license or mirror tell me. I like to think I've grown intellectually and emotionally; I certainly hope I have. I've made plenty of mistakes in the past 47 years, and I'm sure I'll make many more. But even though I deal with adult issues just like everyone else, the fact remains that I'm still just a 10-year-old in a 47-year-old body. I still like video games, comic books, and cartoons, and I "fan girl" at the thought of a sci-fi or anime convention. I get excited when someone says there's lemon pie in the dessert area at a buffet. When I'm cleaning house, I bop around the apartment with earphones stuck in my ears, listening to Aerosmith on my pink mp3 player. Small things like the smell and color of a flower, or a butterfly floating in the breeze, hold my attention in wonder. Most of all, I've discovered that no matter how old I get, I'll never "know it all." When all is said and done, I guess I'll always be a child at heart.