are we to tuf in the forum? - Page 3

adiemus · 12-25-2007, 05:19 AM

I've lurked and participated in a number of forums on different topics - IMHO this is one of the few places where intelligent debate is often had, where passion is high but so is integrity, and where there is so little flaming and nastiness. There have been some wee spats - I'd expect that! - but overall people here are very respectful, knowledgeable, and incredibly generous with their time, their knowledge and their enthusiasm to help newbies like me feel at home.
I feel really priveleged to have stumbled across the forum, and to feel a part of a worldwide community that is not North American biased (and definitely NOT meaning to offend with that comment!). In so many other forums I feel well and truly outnumbered because I live in the deepest of Southern Hemisphere, and here I know that there are active members who come from all sorts of places. It shows to me just how international the influence of middle eastern dance has become!!
Comments are more than welcome - disagreements too - bitchiness is rare and long may that stay the norm.
I hope 2008 will continue in the same vein!

janaki · 12-25-2007, 05:38 AM

IMO, we are making moutains out of molehills!! I don't see a concern for "toughness" on this forum. Where there is good there is bad,where there is negative, there is positive. Otherwise everything gets too sugary and too good. I was new to this forum once and I never felt left out or snubbed. I felt very warm in this forum. Pls let us all focus on the good stuff ( a lot of it here). This forum is a great information source. What I wanted to say is in life every one needs to learn the " dos' " and also the "don'ts". I have learned from this form how and what to do with this dance form. I have qlwo learned "what not to do" with this dance form from the heated threads.

All new members of this forum, big xmas welcome!!! Pls feel free to post here. Many members here are very warm and very very knowledgeble. I can tell you that their comments, advises and even criticism can only bring in the good.

Happy holidays everyone!!

Janaki

Salome · 12-25-2007, 05:38 AM

Personally, I don't feel that this forum is hostile. I could have a bias though

But really, there are hundreds of threads where people ask questions and get thoughtful answers not put downs.

Just to put something out there though... for the folks that feel it is or does get negative and people should be nicer, there is an easy remedy - instead of withdrawing - temper the forum with your posts in the friendly and sweet way you feel should be more present.

Yshka · 12-25-2007, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janaki

IMO, we are making moutains out of molehills!! I don't see a concern for "toughness" on this forum. Where there is good there is bad,where there is negative and there is positive. Otherwise everything gets too sugary or too good. I was a new to this forum once and I never felt left out or snubbed. I felt very warm in this forum. Pls lets all focus on the good stuff ( a lot of it here). This forum is a great information source. What I wanted to say is in life every one needs to learn the "dos" and also the "don'ts". I have learned from this form not only how and what to do with this dance form but also I have learned "what not to do" with this dance form from the heated threads.

Dear Janaki,
you wrote exactly what took me a whole page to put into words. Happy Holidays to you too and to everyone else.

There's much, much more good here than bad. I think the combination of truthfullness, knowledge, honesty and friendliness with constructive criticism, heated debate, fun and variety in people and opinions we have here plays a very big role in what makes the forum the wonderful place that it is.

maariku · 12-25-2007, 05:47 PM

I do feel sorry that some people percieve the forum too bitchy or mean... I haven't really noticed that myself. But I do agree with Janaki's point that due to the cultural and language differences AND written media being the channel between us, a lot of misinterpretations can occur.

I have said it before that the forum is what we ourselves make of it. So please, raise your voice in the appropriate threads. Ok, so maybe newcomers are a bit scared to express their opinions in the beginning... But the people who have been around longer and feel that discussions are getting out of hand, could remind us to play nice every now and then, and give friendly explanations as good examples. I think the point of this forum should be that people can express their opinions - be it beliefs on the essence of dance or on the ways of communication.

In case you feel that public "intervention" over the thread is too much, you can always send private messages... I've used them a few times, to clear things out and it works. There is nothing unfair about private messaging unless you use it for gossiping behind other people's backs!

Can we make a pact, that we will continue speaking our mind, but we will take a moment to read and think over how we've expressed ourselves before hitting that "submit reply" button? And don't forget, that we're having this discussion over Christmas - the season of love and understanding.

12-25-2007, 05:19 AM	#21 (permalink)
adiemus Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Christchurch, New Zealand Posts: 977	I've lurked and participated in a number of forums on different topics - IMHO this is one of the few places where intelligent debate is often had, where passion is high but so is integrity, and where there is so little flaming and nastiness. There have been some wee spats - I'd expect that! - but overall people here are very respectful, knowledgeable, and incredibly generous with their time, their knowledge and their enthusiasm to help newbies like me feel at home. I feel really priveleged to have stumbled across the forum, and to feel a part of a worldwide community that is not North American biased (and definitely NOT meaning to offend with that comment!). In so many other forums I feel well and truly outnumbered because I live in the deepest of Southern Hemisphere, and here I know that there are active members who come from all sorts of places. It shows to me just how international the influence of middle eastern dance has become!! Comments are more than welcome - disagreements too - bitchiness is rare and long may that stay the norm. I hope 2008 will continue in the same vein! __________________ He wahine, he taonga- Every woman is a treasure(Maori proverb)

12-25-2007, 05:38 AM	#22 (permalink)
janaki V.I.P. Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: hong kong Posts: 1,211	IMO, we are making moutains out of molehills!! I don't see a concern for "toughness" on this forum. Where there is good there is bad,where there is negative, there is positive. Otherwise everything gets too sugary and too good. I was new to this forum once and I never felt left out or snubbed. I felt very warm in this forum. Pls let us all focus on the good stuff ( a lot of it here). This forum is a great information source. What I wanted to say is in life every one needs to learn the " dos' " and also the "don'ts". I have learned from this form how and what to do with this dance form. I have qlwo learned "what not to do" with this dance form from the heated threads. All new members of this forum, big xmas welcome!!! Pls feel free to post here. Many members here are very warm and very very knowledgeble. I can tell you that their comments, advises and even criticism can only bring in the good. Happy holidays everyone!! Janaki Last edited by janaki; 12-25-2007 at 01:24 PM. Reason: types too fast. As it is my english is so so. With so many spelling mistakes???

12-25-2007, 05:47 PM	#25 (permalink)
maariku Moderator Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Estonia Posts: 1,146	I do feel sorry that some people percieve the forum too bitchy or mean... I haven't really noticed that myself. But I do agree with Janaki's point that due to the cultural and language differences AND written media being the channel between us, a lot of misinterpretations can occur. I have said it before that the forum is what we ourselves make of it. So please, raise your voice in the appropriate threads. Ok, so maybe newcomers are a bit scared to express their opinions in the beginning... But the people who have been around longer and feel that discussions are getting out of hand, could remind us to play nice every now and then, and give friendly explanations as good examples. I think the point of this forum should be that people can express their opinions - be it beliefs on the essence of dance or on the ways of communication. In case you feel that public "intervention" over the thread is too much, you can always send private messages... I've used them a few times, to clear things out and it works. There is nothing unfair about private messaging unless you use it for gossiping behind other people's backs! Can we make a pact, that we will continue speaking our mind, but we will take a moment to read and think over how we've expressed ourselves before hitting that "submit reply" button? And don't forget, that we're having this discussion over Christmas - the season of love and understanding. __________________ "[A good bellydancer] must express life, death, happiness, sorrow, love and anger, but above all she must have dignity." -Tahia Carioca,

12-25-2007, 05:38 AM	#23 (permalink)
Salome Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Corvallis, Oregon, USA Posts: 1,809	Personally, I don't feel that this forum is hostile. I could have a bias though But really, there are hundreds of threads where people ask questions and get thoughtful answers not put downs. Just to put something out there though... for the folks that feel it is or does get negative and people should be nicer, there is an easy remedy - instead of withdrawing - temper the forum with your posts in the friendly and sweet way you feel should be more present.