are we to tuf in the forum?

[lizaj]

I lurked for a goodly while before I posted and have to say I did read what appeared to be a few put-downs.
But then when I reflected that some folks are posting in a foreign language and even if English is your mother tongue you don't always convey your mood and it can be wrongly read.
Also when you are new , you can feel it is like breaking into a circle of friends and it is not always easy to feel confident in saying what you mean.
I find Bhuz easier "to read" but then that's because I have been there a loooong time
The important thing is that we are a very wide variety of dancers with different perspectives and experiences but bound together by a love of the dance.
You will always get the poster who comes along and makes and takes it all personal and gets abusive..they will be exactly the same in their everyday life, sadly

[Lydia dubai]

Hello lady,s i did not mean anybody or any post singled out,it was just a general thing,,...But thank you for your view it was just a question.....Lydia

[Moon]

Don't worry Lydia, I didn't feel singled out. I just wanted to share my point of view with the others. Why I give negative comments on certain videos but on the same time try to help others with their questions.

That reminds me of another example. If I give negative comments, I give negative comments for that particular video or that particular behaviour of someone. It doesn't mean I will hate that person and put her down for the rest of my life. For example, Turkish dancer Didem had this video where she does aerobic like movements on a famous Egyptian song. I thought it was really bad dancing. Now, Didem has also Roman dance videos which I really like, and I also said I like them.
So, I'm always willing to change my opinion about people when I learn something new about them. I already did this several times and I think I'm not the only one who does this.

[Ankhet]

Maria Aya, Moon: Awwww, thanks so much! I will try to post more in the New Year.

[Sara]

I think part of the problem is that because we can only type to eachother, when we read, we can interpret the writing mood wrongly.

Personally I don't like to get into any of the discussions too much either lol. I understand that you can't not debate, cause we wouldn't learn anything in the long run and accept whatever, but I think that at some points the way people have phrased their sentances (even when not meant mean or nasty) can be interpreted as being just that.

I'm not really referring to constructive criticism and disagreeing with other dancers etc, but when people have tekken personal digs at other people, and argued their point by insulting and stuff. Not good Karma peeps

That's why I take extra extra care when writing things, so I can get it as polite and nice as poss. (not what I int a nice person obviously )

Well Merry Christmas! Only.... 2hours 36 mins!

[taheya]

I agree with Maria, this is a great forum and I really appreciate the open discussions on here. I think there is more honesty in this forum and people are more likely to speak their minds compared to other BD forums on the net. Nobody wants to hurt people's feelings but at the same time long reign freedom of speech!

[majeta]

I'm with you Lydia....lately I've thought the trend in some threads was becoming a little "unfriendly" in remarks etc. However, since I mostly just lurk around this forum, I probably shouldn't comment.

[Yshka]

Originally Posted by Auntie Crazy

I love this forum! But wouldn't it be awesome to see it become an even friendlier and more welcome environment?

Dear Aunty Crazy and others,

I agree, I just love this forum, but one of the main reasons is because we have so many people with so many different views and for all it's alright to speak your mind. Even if we dislike anything about any subject or dance/dancer, people here seem to be able to do it in a much better way than I have witnessed in other forums. True flaming is pretty uncommon here IMO.

If we say it in a constructive way, and even if not, as long as we don't get abusive or insulting I don't see the problem. Most of the posts I think are in question here have been a few abusive ones, that were responded to by moderators right away. A thread about a certain dancer that I think has caused most of the discussion on this topic I believe contained some less friendly posts that could have been differently worded, but nobody attacked this person personally, it was just said people didn't like the dance. The dancer in question then responded with abusive language herself. That is not the fault of any other forum members though, since I agree strongly that if you put yourself out there in public, you are going to receive criticism, and the criticism on this forum was at least (for most) truthful and just concerned about the name of the dance.
As for the fact that beginning students or newbies get told off for asking questions, I've not yet witnessed such a thing on this forum since everybody seems to be willing to help beginning dancers wanting to learn. When I joined I noticed no such thing and most beginners I see posting around the forum I think have not experienced this themselves. There was however a time a few trolls entered the forum and another forum member asked many short questions in a row, as somebody stated earlier. Now in the last two cases I think people were right to respond, but nobody got hurt right?

I think this forum is as friendly and welcome as it can be. I don't feel much like making this place another one of those forums where everyone just says 'oh you're great' and is afraid to speak their minds when people do wrong to the dance. That is no good to anybody. Discussion is healthy and a very good thing, and as long as we do it in a polite way we should keep freedom of speech a virtue to this forum. How could any other art have gained a professional standard for their dance if their was no room for honest discussion? Bellydance has a way to go but if we rule out discussions about what is and isn't good bellydance because we feel it's just not friendly, we'll never get there cause were undermining our own standards by just letting anything happen. A'isha Azar and a few other members have written many postings on this that can be found all around the forum.

I think that if we want our dance to be taken seriously, we should stand up for it and dare to speak up when somebody is not doing it justice. Yes there's room for well-done fusion and fantasy labelled right, yes every style evolves, Egyptian and Turkish bellydance aren't now what they were 30 years ago, and yes there's certainly room for change, personal input and self-expression, but that does not mean we should let anyone call anything bellydance just because hey, it's art and we have the right to creative expression right? Sure we do, but then just call it what it is instead of calling it bellydance (or authentic bellydance....but that's a different story).

This forum makes all those discussion possible and it's members are free to have their own opinions and speak up, but again, in a public forum people can and will be asked and criticised based upon their opinions put out in public. I do believe though that people here have the courage and decency to do so in a way that is not hurtful or rude most of the time. Occasionally somebody comes along and spoils it, but as in most aspects of life trolls WILL always come along, and some people will always chooce to only judge things by the few negative events surrounding it, and for a moment forget all the positive ones (not saying anyone in particular did, just that it might happen).

Here people are able to learn and share and make up their own minds about whatever is right and wrong without actually BEING insulted or flamed for their opinions most of the time. Occasionally somebody feels that way, but in most cases this can be cleared up. I see much more positive than negative discussions and posts here. I think the attention drawn to the negative ones might have made things bigger then they are.

I dearly hope people will not let the few negative cases that occurred over the past time ruin their view of this forum. I think it is still the best place on the net and even more so because we have many students and pro's, all people of different opinions and knowlegde, who truly care about the dance and are willing to help and share their passion with others. We all learn here, discussion is a way of learning, rudeness is not. But then nobody said the forum allows rudeness...

Sorry for long post, I kind of get carried away at this.
Yshka

[Q-Tip]

For what it's worth here is my opinion:
I've haven't been on this forum very long but I am not new to forums, been posting for years. Of the forums I frequent this one is by far the least bitchy as most of my other forums are weight-lifting or computer tech related.

Like Ankhet I don't post a lot of questions because I don't want snapped at. So, I spend most of my time on this board reading threads, searching for things and then reading some more.

I think the people on this board are honest, helpful and very passionate about their dance. Sometimes our passion for something can make us appear to be over-protective and less-tolerant.

When reading threads & posts I try to take into account the cultural differences and the language barriers but many times posts do come across as bitchy and snarky - no matter how many times I read them.
You always have a choice: to post a reply or not.

(When it comes to spammers:- I absolutely refuse to be nice to them and I fully intend on being bitchy and snarky until they leave and stop polluting this board.)


Lydia,
I can honestly say that in all of the threads I've read, re-read and posted on I have never seen any of your posts that I thought were mean or rude. You seem like a gentle soul and I am personally glad you are posting on this board and sharing your knowledge and your heart. Thank you.

[Q-Tip]

Originally Posted by majeta

I'm with you Lydia....lately I've thought the trend in some threads was becoming a little "unfriendly" in remarks etc. However, since I mostly just lurk around this forum, I probably shouldn't comment.

You have every right to comment.