Originally Posted by A'isha Azar

Dear Kharmine,
I am hoping that my student eventually realizes that she will not probably be a delicate flower of a dancer, ever, though she greatly admires one of my students who is.
Regards,
A'isha

Originally Posted by A'isha Azar

Dear Kharmine,
Thankyou and I only WISH I was as good as I sound in your post.

Dear Charity,
The delicate flower part of her soul shows often.

Regards,
A'isha

Originally Posted by Phoenix

Hi:

I'm new to these forums. When I first looked at this forum, this thread was highlighted as one of the most recent.

My persective on this is a little different -- I am a M to F transsexual who is also a dancer.

A couple of questions:

Is your student a transvestite -- a male who enjoys dressing as a woman for whatever reason? Or is she a transsexual -- a woman who ended up in the wrong body type, most probably due to a interuterine accident?

A'isha writes- This is what I know. My student is marrried to a woman and I have been told by another freind who knows her, also dresses like a man sometimes. But, I used to know another marrried person who was a transvestite who was preparing to have transexual surgery from male to female. She moved from here and I have not heard from her for years, but I think she said she would dress like a female for a period of time, then begin hormone treatements and there may have been some other steps that I am forgetting, before the surgeries. Now, this IS just a feeling, but I get the feeling that my student also might be a person who is either very in touch with her feminine side or might be the product of intrauterine accident, as you say.

You didn't mention how old she was. That might have an impact on how she moves, her flexibility, and her ingrained habits.

A'isha writes- She appears to be about 35-40.

My experience is as a TS. I haven't met very many TV so what I do know about them is second-hand.

If she is TS, she has probably been scared most of her life that people would find out. She probably learned very early that she didn't have the right instincts to pass as a "normal" boy. She probably wanted to move "wrong", was interested in the "wrong" things, thought "wrong", and wanted to look "wrong". Depending on when and where she grew up any of these could have gotten her beat up, ostracised, humiliated, abandoned, or worse.

A'isha wries- Because of other freinds that I have who are gay,Lesbian, or into cross-dressing, I know that what you say above is true.

As a result, she proabably has tried to carry herself very tightly from tension, fear, and an attempt to pass. As pointed out earlier, males tend t be stiffer due to the way they are taught by society to carry themselves and from more and tighter muscle mass. Being TS can exacerbate this.

What stage is she in her transition? Is she on HRT? Both of these can ease her tenseness and somewhat masculine sense of movement.

A'isha writes- I do not know a lot about her history. I only know what others have told me. She was referred to me by a woman who did my permanent eye make-up for me and with whom I have a freindly relationship. She said she had a good friend who is a transvestite and wants to take classes, but was nervous about approaching a teacher without first checking on how that teacher would feel about her being a transvestite. She also belongs to a cultural society here in town where one of my dance company members belongs, and she has seen her dressed as a man and as a woman at society functions.

I'm guessing that she is trying very hard but just doesn't have a good sense of where her body is or what it is doing from your description.

A'isha writes- That's what I think, too, and for reasons that you discussed above.

Have you ever had this problem with another woman? How did you handle it? Try what worked there. Zorba commented that his instructor would have to push and pull to get him to stand correctly. You may have to do that.
was certainly a trial to my instructors. Luckily I had some very good ones. But it did take a longish time for me to feel comfortable with letting my body flow after holding it so rigidly for so long.

A'isha writes- A have had one other student who had similar problems. there is also sort of a time factor where info takes longer to reach from the brain to the body part, if that makes sense, for both of them. But, I do want to say that my beginners are now learning a choreography and they BOTH seem to do better!! Maybe it is the structure or something...???

Thank you VERY much for the correct use of pronouns. I know she appreciates it. She is probably very sensitive about how people perceive her and reminders about the deformed body that she was borne with. A neutral comment that she needs to hold her shoulders back more would be better than a one that stated that males need to hold their shoulders back more.

A'isha writes- I have never referred to her as a male either to her or to others. She is a female as far as I am concerned, unless she otherwise suggests.

Thank you very much for your sensitivity and openness.

A'isha writes- I would not think of treating her differently than any of my students.
PS- I love the name you use on the forum... very fitting. Best wishes to you and I am so happy that you were willing to share your own story.

Regards,
A'isha

Phoenix