Budding Prima Donnas, Show-offs, etc. - Page 4

Farasha Hanem · 06-19-2008, 10:13 PM

I've been reading this thread with much interest, although I'm not so sure I have anything worthwhile to add to it.

Amarise, I'm eons away from being an instructor, especially since i'm still so new to the dance. But I'd like to share a bit of my own story, if it's all right.

Before I started taking bellydance classes, I practiced bellydance all alone with instructional DVD's for about 7 years. Fun, yes, helpful, not really. I knew I was missing out on a lot without the benefit of having a living, breathing teacher being there to help correct my mistakes, and to encourage me when I was doing something right. So although I had a vague idea of how to execute certain basic moves, I knew that there was much learning I was lacking.

I started buying books, which did provide a little more information. I was amazed at how many styles of bellydance there are! Still, reading and working out to videos wasn't enough.

Then, last September, one of the dance studios here where I live offered bellydance lessons!

I was so completely happy. When our class first started getting acquainted with each other, I did share that I'd been trying on my own with DVD's for years, but that I got nowhere fast, because nothing can replace having an actual teacher train you. The other ladies in our class are so wonderful; they aren't prima donnas at all, and I've made lots of new friends.

I'm usually too busy watching my teacher (and subsequently watching myself) to really notice anyone else in class during practice. But occasionally, I see what my friends are doing, and they're amazing!

A number of them have picked up quickly on what's being taught (especially the beginner class that just recently joined my class---long story). Our class is so much fun, and we get together to perform at Ren Faires (sorry, Moon!

), and even had an end-of-the-year party at our teacher's house.

The one girl who was a bit of a trouble-maker in the beginning quit class, so all in all, it has been a wonderful, joyful experience.

There are two things in life that my grandmother, who raised me, taught me, and they've stayed with me all my life:

"The universe does NOT revolve around you"

and

"No matter what you do in life, sweetheart, no matter what talents you may have, there will ALWAYS be someone better than you"

I'm so very grateful for the important lessons my grandmother taught me.

Aniseteph · 06-19-2008, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shanazel

...When faced with persistent nastiness, a friend of mine sets a wondering gaze on the offender and murmurs "Now, why on earth would you say something like that?" in a voice that is gentle, southern lady to the max, yet leaves no doubt in her listeners that a social faux pas has been made...

That is just perfect!

As usual I'm banned from leaving you rep.

Amarise · 06-25-2008, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamkitaro

I am a student dealing with a prima donna student in my class. She is very talented. She is just a natural dancer. Unfortunately, she lets everyone know she is. During class and rehearsal for recitals she will talk or rude noises while others are practicing. She is already trying out for the teachers group. She will gossip during rehearsals with girls from that group making snide comments about the other students who are not as talented as she. The teacher is so nice, she doesn't correct or say anything to her. It stresses out the rest of us students and frazzles us. Our classes when that prima donna is not there, flows and is much funner when she's not around. The rest of us are very encouraging to each other. We don't need that prima donna around.

I would agree with what has already been suggested about his situation.

I would suggest you and some of the other unhappy students approach your teacher respectfully about your feelings with this problem student. I have a hard time believing she does not see what is going on but tell her anyway. If she is scared of this student's backlash for some reason, maybe seeing that there are people who also see what is going on will give her the courage to confront this problem student. Students like this can be a cancer in a group and ruin it for everyone eventually.

Best of luck to you. It is hard to be a fellow student and have to deal with this. A teacher can ask such a student to leave for misconduct if necessary but a fellow student does not have that option.

Amarise

Amarise · 06-25-2008, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farasha Hanem

There are two things in life that my grandmother, who raised me, taught me, and they've stayed with me all my life:

"The universe does NOT revolve around you"

and

"No matter what you do in life, sweetheart, no matter what talents you may have, there will ALWAYS be someone better than you"

I'm so very grateful for the important lessons my grandmother taught me.

What great wisdom.

And yes, there is ALWAYS someone better and even if there may not be at that moment, there will be at some point! The longer I study this dance, the more I see I would like to learn and need to learn.

Amarise

Shanazel · 06-25-2008, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aniseteph

That is just perfect!

As usual I'm banned from leaving you rep.

But I am not banned from thanking you for the intent! I will pass the "perfect" complement on to my friend.

Jane · 06-26-2008, 11:06 PM

I was always one of the better dancers in my class and I suspect many of us are or were as well. If we weren't good or had talent, most of us wouldn't have stuck around. It's easy in class to be a big fish in a small pond.

I think there needs to be a clear divide between being in the top of your class and bad behavior. They are not mutually exclusive or joined at the hip.

I place most of the responsibility on the teacher. A teacher has control over what happens in the class- period. If a student is detrimental to others and will not change their behavior, tell them not to come back.

If they are good and they know it, I see that as self-confidence which can be adjusted to be great on stage if channeled appropriately . Bad behavior is bad behavior with no correlation to perceived talent.

There will always be someone better than you, and sooner or later we are all humbled. It's how you take it that matters. You can sit back and b*tch and complain or you can improve yourself. You are the only person whose behavior you have control over.

Moon · 06-27-2008, 06:45 PM

Even though people are not talented at all, I think everyone will at least get a tiny bit better when taking lessons. What does it matter if you'll never be a good bellydancer? If you enjoy it, then do it. You will always improve and be a better dancer than you were before.

Reen.Blom · 06-27-2008, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jane

I was always one of the better dancers in my class and I suspect many of us are or were as well. If we weren't good or had talent, most of us wouldn't have stuck around. It's easy in class to be a big fish in a small pond.

I think there needs to be a clear divide between being in the top of your class and bad behavior. They are not mutually exclusive or joined at the hip.

I place most of the responsibility on the teacher. A teacher has control over what happens in the class- period. If a student is detrimental to others and will not change their behavior, tell them not to come back.

If they are good and they know it, I see that as self-confidence which can be adjusted to be great on stage if channeled appropriately . Bad behavior is bad behavior with no correlation to perceived talent.

There will always be someone better than you, and sooner or later we are all humbled. It's how you take it that matters. You can sit back and b*tch and complain or you can improve yourself. You are the only person whose behavior you have control over.

Agreed 100%

Aisha Azar · 06-27-2008, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon

Even though people are not talented at all, I think everyone will at least get a tiny bit better when taking lessons. What does it matter if you'll never be a good bellydancer? If you enjoy it, then do it. You will always improve and be a better dancer than you were before.

Dear Moon,
The important addendum in this case is that it is okay people have the good common sense and respect for the dance to realize whether or not they are professional quality dancers or hobbyists. There is nothing at all wrong with just enjoying the dance for the sake of doing it, but the problem develops when someone decides they are way better than they actually are and they pass themselves off as professional when they are not. We owe something back to the dance and one of the big things is doing an honest appraisal of our abilities in the form and working in the venues that are appropriate to our skill levels.
Regards,
A'isha

Moon · 06-27-2008, 07:32 PM

True.

06-19-2008, 10:13 PM	#31 (permalink)
Farasha Hanem Moderator Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In the heartland of the USA Posts: 597	I've been reading this thread with much interest, although I'm not so sure I have anything worthwhile to add to it. Amarise, I'm eons away from being an instructor, especially since i'm still so new to the dance. But I'd like to share a bit of my own story, if it's all right. Before I started taking bellydance classes, I practiced bellydance all alone with instructional DVD's for about 7 years. Fun, yes, helpful, not really. I knew I was missing out on a lot without the benefit of having a living, breathing teacher being there to help correct my mistakes, and to encourage me when I was doing something right. So although I had a vague idea of how to execute certain basic moves, I knew that there was much learning I was lacking. I started buying books, which did provide a little more information. I was amazed at how many styles of bellydance there are! Still, reading and working out to videos wasn't enough. Then, last September, one of the dance studios here where I live offered bellydance lessons! I was so completely happy. When our class first started getting acquainted with each other, I did share that I'd been trying on my own with DVD's for years, but that I got nowhere fast, because nothing can replace having an actual teacher train you. The other ladies in our class are so wonderful; they aren't prima donnas at all, and I've made lots of new friends. I'm usually too busy watching my teacher (and subsequently watching myself) to really notice anyone else in class during practice. But occasionally, I see what my friends are doing, and they're amazing! A number of them have picked up quickly on what's being taught (especially the beginner class that just recently joined my class---long story). Our class is so much fun, and we get together to perform at Ren Faires (sorry, Moon! ), and even had an end-of-the-year party at our teacher's house. The one girl who was a bit of a trouble-maker in the beginning quit class, so all in all, it has been a wonderful, joyful experience. There are two things in life that my grandmother, who raised me, taught me, and they've stayed with me all my life: "The universe does NOT revolve around you" and "No matter what you do in life, sweetheart, no matter what talents you may have, there will ALWAYS be someone better than you" I'm so very grateful for the important lessons my grandmother taught me.

06-26-2008, 11:06 PM	#36 (permalink)
Jane Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: In the mountains Posts: 412	I was always one of the better dancers in my class and I suspect many of us are or were as well. If we weren't good or had talent, most of us wouldn't have stuck around. It's easy in class to be a big fish in a small pond. I think there needs to be a clear divide between being in the top of your class and bad behavior. They are not mutually exclusive or joined at the hip. I place most of the responsibility on the teacher. A teacher has control over what happens in the class- period. If a student is detrimental to others and will not change their behavior, tell them not to come back. If they are good and they know it, I see that as self-confidence which can be adjusted to be great on stage if channeled appropriately . Bad behavior is bad behavior with no correlation to perceived talent. There will always be someone better than you, and sooner or later we are all humbled. It's how you take it that matters. You can sit back and b*tch and complain or you can improve yourself. You are the only person whose behavior you have control over.

06-27-2008, 06:45 PM	#37 (permalink)
Moon V.I.P. Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: the Netherlands Posts: 3,627	Even though people are not talented at all, I think everyone will at least get a tiny bit better when taking lessons. What does it matter if you'll never be a good bellydancer? If you enjoy it, then do it. You will always improve and be a better dancer than you were before.

06-27-2008, 07:32 PM	#40 (permalink)
Moon V.I.P. Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: the Netherlands Posts: 3,627	True.