Budding Prima Donnas, Show-offs, etc. - Page 3

Reen.Blom · 06-19-2008, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A'isha Azar

She has not yet built on this basic skill and may not ever if she does not have the dance skills innate in herself.

Hmmmmm INTERESTING......

So that means that there are people out there who will never "get it" cos they are born ""with 2 left feet"? I was under the impresion that although some people are more talented in one sphere than the other,there are not those totally deprived and not trainable?????.....

Your thoughts on that?

Aisha Azar · 06-19-2008, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamkitaro

I am a student dealing with a prima donna student in my class. She is very talented. She is just a natural dancer. Unfortunately, she lets everyone know she is. During class and rehearsal for recitals she will talk or rude noises while others are practicing. She is already trying out for the teachers group. She will gossip during rehearsals with girls from that group making snide comments about the other students who are not as talented as she. The teacher is so nice, she doesn't correct or say anything to her. It stresses out the rest of us students and frazzles us. Our classes when that prima donna is not there, flows and is much funner when she's not around. The rest of us are very encouraging to each other. We don't need that prima donna around.

Dear Dreamkitaro,
Your instructor should be dealing with this person and making them be considerate of the rest of the class. I suggest that a group of you get together and discuss it with the teacher. This is the best alternative.
The other alternative is to approach the woman every time she starts up and ask her what she means by her behavior. This takes a LOT of courage and willingness to confront someone on your own behalf and it is not easy, so I suggest the other method. Sometimes standing ip for oneself will put a stop to one problem and lead to another, but if the majority of the group does it, should have a good outcomes, even if it is just to get rid of the trouble maker.
Unfortunately, there is no easy solution.
Regards,
A'isha

dreamkitaro · 06-19-2008, 02:33 PM

Thank you for taking the time to give me options and advice.

Shanazel · 06-19-2008, 02:39 PM

The teacher may be nice, but she is also either apathetic, oblivious, or just plain reluctant for some reason (fear? blackmail?) to tell her nasty student to knock it off. I agree with A'isha about how to deal with it: teacher first, group effort if that fails. When faced with persistent nastiness, a friend of mine sets a wondering gaze on the offender and murmurs "Now, why on earth would you say something like that?" in a voice that is gentle, southern lady to the max, yet leaves no doubt in her listeners that a social faux pas has been made. I try to emulate her technique, but, alas, lack her polish.

Aisha Azar · 06-19-2008, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reen.Blom

Hmmmmm INTERESTING......

So that means that there are people out there who will never "get it" cos they are born ""with 2 left feet"? I was under the impresion that although some people are more talented in one sphere than the other,there are not those totally deprived and not trainable?????.....

Your thoughts on that?

Dear Reen,
Sorry, I just noticed this was addressed to me....
I believe that Middle Eastern dance is just like any other thing in the arts. Not all of us can be good painters, not all of us can be ballerinas, or tap dancers, etc. I think that aptitude counts for a lot in one's ability to do the dances of the Middle East, just like it does in anything else. I often see the dance marketed as if anyone can do it and I think that is part of the problem with us being taken seriously. It is not true that anyone can belly dance. However a person who can not belly dance might have other things they can do in the world of Middle Eastern dance. Maybe someone has a great ear for singing in a certain style, or they can create incredible costumes. Maybe they have a knack for traveling and bringing back important information about the cultures and dances in a way that hits home with many people. I had a student who was not a good dancer because she just could not physically get it together, but, she was an amazing choreographer! She had the right stuff in her mind and soul, but it just did not connect to her body. We had other people do the dances she created and it was a sublime arrangement. Maybe someone who is not a good belly dancer will be great at Debke or have a real feeling and innate understanding for creating perfect websites for dancers. Because there are so many things connected to the dance, I think there is something for everybody on a different level than being a great dancer.
The other thing is that everyone who takes dance classes should not expect to become great dancers, any more than people who take other types of dance classes do. Unfortunately, we have led our students to believe they can all be fabulous and it just is not true. It takes years of work just to get through the physical layers of the dance, never mind to to its heart and soul!
Regards,
A'isha

Reen.Blom · 06-19-2008, 03:05 PM

I was just thinking.... That alot of that stuff is due to lack of training and maybe connection with one's body.... Maybe training in early years.... but to think that someone is born totally deprived of certain talent? I dunno, I tend to believe that most things can be developed... although the more damage is done the more time it will take to repair....

Gosh, I just cant believe that because I was shy and afraid of teacher when I was 5yo to repeat what she was singing, I was denied the chance to study music, cos she declared me tone deaf! ( we had a piano for me to practice on) But thanks to that lady who decided I was born without "music skills" I never got trained. Only now years later I realise that what I have been told and belived myself all my life that I dont have "music skills" is not true!

Yeah to start repairing damage now? Unfortunatly I dont have resources for it now.

So I am always cautious about people stating that someone "does not have what it takes"....

Aisha Azar · 06-19-2008, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reen.Blom

I was just thinking.... That alot of that stuff is due to lack of training and maybe connection with one's body.... Maybe training in early years.... but to think that someone is born totally deprived of certain talent? I dunno, I tend to believe that most things can be developed... although the more damage is done the more time it will take to repair....

Gosh, I just cant believe that because I was shy and afraid of teacher when I was 5yo to repeat what she was singing, I was denied the chance to study music, cos she declared me tone deaf! ( we had a piano for me to practice on) But thanks to that lady who decided I was born without "music skills" I never got trained. Only now years later I realise that what I have been told and belived myself all my life that I dont have "music skills" is not true!

Yeah to start repairing damage now? Unfortunatly I dont have resources for it now

.

Dear Reen,
Other people declaring that one has or has not got talent is not what makes it so!! Talent is there or it is not, regardless of what any teacher says. I honestly do not believe that all people have the ability do all things, but that we each are born with our own set of unique skills and talents. I am a good example. I am a good Egyptian belly dancer and a lousy typist, though I have been typing, after having taken classes, since I was about 15. I can make the most beautiful, intricate beadwork, but I can't do pottery very well at all. I could do good beadwork the first time I picked up the needle, though my skill has grown. The stuff was there in me! It is not there for me to work in clay.

Quote:

So I am always cautious about people stating that someone "does not have what it takes"....

Well, as I said, what people say does not always make it the truth, but I still think we all have our own set of skills and places where we are not so skilled as well. People can enjoy the dance at many different levels and not everyone has to become a great professional dancer in order to enjoy dancing!

Regards,
A'isha

jenc · 06-19-2008, 05:46 PM

I think what it is that we can have something knocked out of us - just look at the number of young children who can sing compared with adults, but that we also have different levels of aptitude. It is simply not true that everyone could be a genius if encouraged.
With perseverence, I could regain my singing ability enough to sing in a choir, but soloist never. Dance on the other hand.............

Reen.Blom · 06-19-2008, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenc

I think what it is that we can have something knocked out of us - just look at the number of young children who can sing compared with adults, but that we also have different levels of aptitude. It is simply not true that everyone could be a genius if encouraged.
With perseverence, I could regain my singing ability enough to sing in a choir, but soloist never. Dance on the other hand.............

Well I am not saying that anyone could be trained to be a genius, but on the other hand to say that one was born "without skills" also not true IMHO...

Aisha Azar · 06-19-2008, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reen.Blom

Well I am not saying that anyone could be trained to be a genius, but on the other hand to say that one was born "without skills" also not true IMHO...

Dear Reen,
Just out of curiousity, do you think everyone can be a be a belly dancer?
Regards,
A'isha

06-19-2008, 02:33 PM	#23 (permalink)
dreamkitaro Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Philly, PA Posts: 3	thank for your advice Thank you for taking the time to give me options and advice.

06-19-2008, 03:05 PM	#26 (permalink)
Reen.Blom V.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SA now UK(Newmarket) Posts: 2,258	I was just thinking.... That alot of that stuff is due to lack of training and maybe connection with one's body.... Maybe training in early years.... but to think that someone is born totally deprived of certain talent? I dunno, I tend to believe that most things can be developed... although the more damage is done the more time it will take to repair.... Gosh, I just cant believe that because I was shy and afraid of teacher when I was 5yo to repeat what she was singing, I was denied the chance to study music, cos she declared me tone deaf! ( we had a piano for me to practice on) But thanks to that lady who decided I was born without "music skills" I never got trained. Only now years later I realise that what I have been told and belived myself all my life that I dont have "music skills" is not true! Yeah to start repairing damage now? Unfortunatly I dont have resources for it now. So I am always cautious about people stating that someone "does not have what it takes".... __________________ Join WORLD BELLY DANCE DAY! www.worldbellydanceday.com

06-19-2008, 02:39 PM	#24 (permalink)
Shanazel Moderator Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Rocky Mountains USA Posts: 4,060	The teacher may be nice, but she is also either apathetic, oblivious, or just plain reluctant for some reason (fear? blackmail?) to tell her nasty student to knock it off. I agree with A'isha about how to deal with it: teacher first, group effort if that fails. When faced with persistent nastiness, a friend of mine sets a wondering gaze on the offender and murmurs "Now, why on earth would you say something like that?" in a voice that is gentle, southern lady to the max, yet leaves no doubt in her listeners that a social faux pas has been made. I try to emulate her technique, but, alas, lack her polish.

06-19-2008, 05:46 PM	#28 (permalink)
jenc Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Colchester UK Posts: 727	I think what it is that we can have something knocked out of us - just look at the number of young children who can sing compared with adults, but that we also have different levels of aptitude. It is simply not true that everyone could be a genius if encouraged. With perseverence, I could regain my singing ability enough to sing in a choir, but soloist never. Dance on the other hand.............