Problems with weight - Page 2

karena · 01-04-2008, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brea

I also have heard hypnotherapy doesn't work but if you think it would be useful I will look into it.

IMO what tends to work is what is what is right for you. If it's not something that appeals then I think it is less likely to work. Worked for my dad but then obviously he's a different person with a different set of circumstances. Personally were I ever in that situation, I don't think a diet would work for me, as that just isn't my thing. My biggest advice would be to do whatever suggestion sounds right intuitively to you; that will be the one that works. IMO it's essential that you believe in whatever you choose to do.

Azeeza · 01-04-2008, 05:43 PM

OMG, Brea:

I had no idea that you've had such trauma in your young life. I'm so sorry.

You've worked very hard to make a good life for yourself and I want to congratulate you for doing something that is extremely difficult to over come. It would have been so easy for you to take another path in life, but you chose to work hard and make something of yourself.

I suffer from a lot of the same food issues that you do. But, something that has helped me is living with my husband. His take on food is completely different than mine because his family didn't put the same emphasis on food as mine did and still does. My feelings about food didn't change overnight, it took years.

What dawned on me is that I can get the same food again later if I want it, so I don't have to eat the whole thing. I think that really made me change my whole way of thinking about food and it's been a big change. Of course, there are many more food related things, but for me this was a big one.

Also, there is a difference between the full feeling and stuffed feeling. Stop when your tummy feels like it's had enough. That's full. If you go beyond and you feel like you are going to explode, that's stuffed.

These are just a few little things that have helped me to lose 25 pounds. I'm no where near being small, but I'm between a big normal and a small over weight. I need to lose a few pounds myself. If you would like, we could start a buddy program. I'm willing because the last 20 pounds have been plaguing for years.

Big hugs, Brea

Azeeza

Brea · 01-04-2008, 05:55 PM

Yes let's start a buddy system and stuff. I think that would be great.

Thanks for the sympathy too. I don't get much of it, but I always feel like I owe it to myself to be a good person now after all I've lived through.

I don't understand methodical starvation. It works as a technique but it really sticks with you for life. Also it kills people. Why would anyone do that? Did your family? My enforced starvation was so terrible they ended up having to force feed me, as I weighed only 95 pounds at one point. They try not to actually kill you of course, but sometimes people die anyway. I am 5'9 and currently weigh (in the photos on my site) between 170-180 pounds. I am healthy at 150, and would be model-thin-looking at 135. So you can imagine what I looked like at 95 pounds when they decided to force feed me.

Yeah, so obviously I have some major issues with food. I wish someone (even myself) would be able to say into my ear 'it is OK you will have food when you need it, you don't need to stuff your face; you're not imprisoned anymore and you truly can buy and eat anything you want'. The funny thing is, I KNOW this cognitively, but my body thinks very much otherwise.

Babylonia · 01-04-2008, 06:58 PM

Food affects us all in so many different ways.

My hubby is Cuban and was at times very malnourished and underfed. Yet the fact that that he went without food doesn't make him panic or freak, it has given him the mental strength to be able to wait or put off a meal if he has to. But he does insist that the food we eat be of very high quality (as it should be ) and plentiful, it bothers him a lot if we don't have enough for seconds but he refuses to eat leftovers. Unfortunately he isn't always sympathetic to those of us who have issues. But that also comes from burying 3 people close to him who died from obesity (one before the age of 30 and 2 who were just 40).

When some family members came from Cuba several years ago some of the kids came to my dd's birthday party and kept getting tokens but not spending them. We found out that the kids were hoarding other things as well and they had to constantly check under their beds etc for food.

I have a friend who has never missed a meal in her life. She's super fit but mentally the thought of going without food freaks her out. She carries food with her alot just be on the safe side. I suggested that she audition for "Survivor" because she could handle the physical challenges but she said that there was no way she could handle the uncertainty of the food situation.

karena · 01-04-2008, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brea

Yeah, so obviously I have some major issues with food. I wish someone (even myself) would be able to say into my ear 'it is OK you will have food when you need it, you don't need to stuff your face; you're not imprisoned anymore and you truly can buy and eat anything you want'. The funny thing is, I KNOW this cognitively, but my body thinks very much otherwise.

Again, if this is not for you, please please ignore, but in relation to the above specifically, this is where NLP style hypnotherapy could be good for you. Your brain deep down is thinking different, and you need to get in there, and swop those thoughts for what you in your conscious mind want to think. If there are thoughts/pictures/memories that keep popping to the surface (don't try to conjour them up, only if they are already popping into your mind when you don't want them), catch hold of them, play the picture in your mind, but get in control of it. Step outside of it, speed it up, slow it down, make the voices all squeaky like Micky Mouse, make them all in comic scottish accents

, whatever you like. Then once you can do that, make the images black and white, slowed down, then really tiny, so they are fading away to a pin prick in the back of your mind. If they pop up again, just do it again. Eventually they will stop popping up and be replaced with what you actually want to think/visualise.
Again if this is mumbo jumbo to you, don't do it. And your memories/thoughts may need more intensive dealing with (for want of a better turn of phrase). But if it appeals, seek a proper NLP expert out. I am not one, but this is just a little tool that works for me.

LLAIMA · 01-04-2008, 07:40 PM

Hi all,

I strongly belive in using quality food too, I just hate for food to go to waiste, but when I had lost weight I had done the same Azeeza metions and that takes detachment from food.

Brea · 01-05-2008, 03:28 AM

Hi karena

Thanks, I will try it. I have not done that before. I think you are right that it's something subconscious that my conscious mind is trying to fight with and always seems to lose.

tim'ema · 01-06-2008, 03:20 AM

You have my admiration for forging ahead in your life despite all you have gone through!

I have never been without food, but do have food issues; nothing on the scale of what you have gone through, however. My parents both grew up with very little, and so things like restaurants and ice cream etc were for very special occasions only. Of course as soon as I moved out on my own, these became the primary ways I congratulated myself when things went well, or consoled myself when things went badly.

Also, I disliked my profession for most of my working life, and going "out" was a way to manufacture a holiday, an event. It was a generated special occasion in my otherwise depressing life.

I have come to two conclusions: firstly, if I dedicate myself to a profession that brings me fulfillment, I will not need to manufacture special occasions to give myself something to look forward to. Archeologists discovering million year old bones don't NEED to go out for dinner three times a week to give their lives highlights! Neither do astronauts. I am dedicating myself to making a living as a freelance writer. I am terrified beyond imagination, but I am already discovering the fulfillment.

Secondly, and I think this is the biggie, I have realized that I have a hard time regarding the Universe in general as being in a state of Bounty - Bounty I can access whenever I wish and have a right to. It is a kind of trust or faith issue. I have a tendency to hoard things and consume things because I have this idea that "such a great deal won't come along again" or "what if I NEED an empty margarine container and DON'T HAVE ONE!! (horrors!! LOL!)".
Strangely, I order a medium Mocha everyday before work. I ALWAYS throw out half of it at the end of the day. The last few mornings I made a concerted effort to ask for a SMALL mocha. It was actually difficult! I had to repeat it in my mind over and over like a mantra as I stood in line. I kept thinking, "what if I FINISH it part way through the day? I'll be without coffee!"

I mean, that's ridiculous! I work in a mall. The coffee house in three doors down. I'll get another if I have to. But it's not about the coffee, really. It's about my need to have the confidence in the Universe to provide me with all that I need - it's not out to trick me or deprive me - and the confidence to really KNOW that I am capable of accessing that Bounty - no one can keep me from it, no one is more entitled to it. Food, money, happiness, etc.

I have never had to deal with the powerful issues that you have, but I hope that we can all help each other.

Our thoughts and hearts are with you and behind you!
I wish you Bounty,

AT

Brea · 01-06-2008, 03:37 AM

Hi to tim'ema,

Wow! You have opened my eyes! I also do that 'congratulatory/consolatory' thing...mainly because I am not only dissatisfied with my job but also where I am living, and what I am doing with my life. It's strange...I think I am having some kind of reverse culture shock or something. Perhaps if I forge ahead and try to make myself happy first then I will not be so dependent upon food for that...

Thanks, what an enlightening read!

Jane · 01-06-2008, 06:27 AM

Dear Brea, You are a strong beautiful woman inside and out. Don't ever forget that and don't let the past pull you down. We're all on your side here on the forum.

I've had some of the same food issues you had growing up (food deprived & homless) and also have some hold-over behaviors from it. For a long time I ate until I couldn't hold anymore without being sick because I never knew when my next meal would be. Now that I have food, I eat too much and I stockpile it in my house. The only thing that has helped me is asking myself if I'm really hungry or just eating because I can.

01-04-2008, 05:55 PM	#13 (permalink)
Brea V.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,283	Yes let's start a buddy system and stuff. I think that would be great. Thanks for the sympathy too. I don't get much of it, but I always feel like I owe it to myself to be a good person now after all I've lived through. I don't understand methodical starvation. It works as a technique but it really sticks with you for life. Also it kills people. Why would anyone do that? Did your family? My enforced starvation was so terrible they ended up having to force feed me, as I weighed only 95 pounds at one point. They try not to actually kill you of course, but sometimes people die anyway. I am 5'9 and currently weigh (in the photos on my site) between 170-180 pounds. I am healthy at 150, and would be model-thin-looking at 135. So you can imagine what I looked like at 95 pounds when they decided to force feed me. Yeah, so obviously I have some major issues with food. I wish someone (even myself) would be able to say into my ear 'it is OK you will have food when you need it, you don't need to stuff your face; you're not imprisoned anymore and you truly can buy and eat anything you want'. The funny thing is, I KNOW this cognitively, but my body thinks very much otherwise. __________________ www.breamorgiane.com Last edited by Brea; 01-04-2008 at 05:59 PM.

01-04-2008, 07:40 PM	#16 (permalink)
LLAIMA Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: USA Posts: 70	Hi all, I strongly belive in using quality food too, I just hate for food to go to waiste, but when I had lost weight I had done the same Azeeza metions and that takes detachment from food. Last edited by LLAIMA; 01-04-2008 at 07:42 PM.

01-05-2008, 03:28 AM	#17 (permalink)
Brea V.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,283	Hi karena Thanks, I will try it. I have not done that before. I think you are right that it's something subconscious that my conscious mind is trying to fight with and always seems to lose. __________________ www.breamorgiane.com

01-06-2008, 03:37 AM	#19 (permalink)
Brea V.I.P. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,283	Hi to tim'ema, Wow! You have opened my eyes! I also do that 'congratulatory/consolatory' thing...mainly because I am not only dissatisfied with my job but also where I am living, and what I am doing with my life. It's strange...I think I am having some kind of reverse culture shock or something. Perhaps if I forge ahead and try to make myself happy first then I will not be so dependent upon food for that... Thanks, what an enlightening read! __________________ www.breamorgiane.com

01-04-2008, 05:43 PM	#12 (permalink)
Azeeza Moderator Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 831	OMG, Brea: I had no idea that you've had such trauma in your young life. I'm so sorry. You've worked very hard to make a good life for yourself and I want to congratulate you for doing something that is extremely difficult to over come. It would have been so easy for you to take another path in life, but you chose to work hard and make something of yourself. I suffer from a lot of the same food issues that you do. But, something that has helped me is living with my husband. His take on food is completely different than mine because his family didn't put the same emphasis on food as mine did and still does. My feelings about food didn't change overnight, it took years. What dawned on me is that I can get the same food again later if I want it, so I don't have to eat the whole thing. I think that really made me change my whole way of thinking about food and it's been a big change. Of course, there are many more food related things, but for me this was a big one. Also, there is a difference between the full feeling and stuffed feeling. Stop when your tummy feels like it's had enough. That's full. If you go beyond and you feel like you are going to explode, that's stuffed. These are just a few little things that have helped me to lose 25 pounds. I'm no where near being small, but I'm between a big normal and a small over weight. I need to lose a few pounds myself. If you would like, we could start a buddy program. I'm willing because the last 20 pounds have been plaguing for years. Big hugs, Brea Azeeza

01-04-2008, 06:58 PM	#14 (permalink)
Babylonia Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: South Florida Posts: 404	Food affects us all in so many different ways. My hubby is Cuban and was at times very malnourished and underfed. Yet the fact that that he went without food doesn't make him panic or freak, it has given him the mental strength to be able to wait or put off a meal if he has to. But he does insist that the food we eat be of very high quality (as it should be ) and plentiful, it bothers him a lot if we don't have enough for seconds but he refuses to eat leftovers. Unfortunately he isn't always sympathetic to those of us who have issues. But that also comes from burying 3 people close to him who died from obesity (one before the age of 30 and 2 who were just 40). When some family members came from Cuba several years ago some of the kids came to my dd's birthday party and kept getting tokens but not spending them. We found out that the kids were hoarding other things as well and they had to constantly check under their beds etc for food. I have a friend who has never missed a meal in her life. She's super fit but mentally the thought of going without food freaks her out. She carries food with her alot just be on the safe side. I suggested that she audition for "Survivor" because she could handle the physical challenges but she said that there was no way she could handle the uncertainty of the food situation.

01-06-2008, 03:20 AM	#18 (permalink)
tim'ema Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Western Canada Posts: 141	You have my admiration for forging ahead in your life despite all you have gone through! I have never been without food, but do have food issues; nothing on the scale of what you have gone through, however. My parents both grew up with very little, and so things like restaurants and ice cream etc were for very special occasions only. Of course as soon as I moved out on my own, these became the primary ways I congratulated myself when things went well, or consoled myself when things went badly. Also, I disliked my profession for most of my working life, and going "out" was a way to manufacture a holiday, an event. It was a generated special occasion in my otherwise depressing life. I have come to two conclusions: firstly, if I dedicate myself to a profession that brings me fulfillment, I will not need to manufacture special occasions to give myself something to look forward to. Archeologists discovering million year old bones don't NEED to go out for dinner three times a week to give their lives highlights! Neither do astronauts. I am dedicating myself to making a living as a freelance writer. I am terrified beyond imagination, but I am already discovering the fulfillment. Secondly, and I think this is the biggie, I have realized that I have a hard time regarding the Universe in general as being in a state of Bounty - Bounty I can access whenever I wish and have a right to. It is a kind of trust or faith issue. I have a tendency to hoard things and consume things because I have this idea that "such a great deal won't come along again" or "what if I NEED an empty margarine container and DON'T HAVE ONE!! (horrors!! LOL!)". Strangely, I order a medium Mocha everyday before work. I ALWAYS throw out half of it at the end of the day. The last few mornings I made a concerted effort to ask for a SMALL mocha. It was actually difficult! I had to repeat it in my mind over and over like a mantra as I stood in line. I kept thinking, "what if I FINISH it part way through the day? I'll be without coffee!" I mean, that's ridiculous! I work in a mall. The coffee house in three doors down. I'll get another if I have to. But it's not about the coffee, really. It's about my need to have the confidence in the Universe to provide me with all that I need - it's not out to trick me or deprive me - and the confidence to really KNOW that I am capable of accessing that Bounty - no one can keep me from it, no one is more entitled to it. Food, money, happiness, etc. I have never had to deal with the powerful issues that you have, but I hope that we can all help each other. Our thoughts and hearts are with you and behind you! I wish you Bounty, AT

01-06-2008, 06:27 AM	#20 (permalink)
Jane Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: In the mountains Posts: 443	Dear Brea, You are a strong beautiful woman inside and out. Don't ever forget that and don't let the past pull you down. We're all on your side here on the forum. I've had some of the same food issues you had growing up (food deprived & homless) and also have some hold-over behaviors from it. For a long time I ate until I couldn't hold anymore without being sick because I never knew when my next meal would be. Now that I have food, I eat too much and I stockpile it in my house. The only thing that has helped me is asking myself if I'm really hungry or just eating because I can.