I think it's very ok to send advice privately if you feel that you can speak more freely and better guide the person asking the question. You probably have some great stories that everyone would benefit from hearing but follow your heart as you seem to do already.
I have never really felt that this is a bitchy forum, apart from a few occasional one-time-posters. I left another forum (for uni students) some years ago because I felt bad every single time I had been on it due to the arrogant and putting-people-down-whenever's-possible- attitude in that place. I came back there once not so long ago to ask a question but was immedeately put down with bitchy comments ( only by the men) so I gave up that place. Here I have never felt anything like that. Even though I'm not the greatest poster I've always felt welcome and that people argue their case in a mature and reasonable way.
Since I'm aware of the recent debates I just wanted to share these thoughts.
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You need chaos in your soul to create a dancing star-nietzsche
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