Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarik Sultan
I know you don't dress the way you do for the reason I mentioned, but that's because I know you somewhat from your website and posts, but the problem is we rarely get a chance to speak to people. That is why I think image and not behaving in ways that confirm the stereotype is important. I really am concerned with the image of the dance and that we get taken seriously. I don't like the fact that our sisters are taken for bimbos and our brothers are dismissed as sissies, (shades of Billy Elliot).....Does any of this make sense?  |
Yes it does...
Hey - we're GUYS, of COURSE we have strong feelings/opinions on things we're passionate about. The gals are probably looking at this conversation and going "Yep, typical guys!". HA!
You have strong feelings about (so called) effeminacy. I have strong feelings about constraining "masculinity" - I don't like artificial boundaries, and that's what I feel they are, is artificial. But you knew that...
Here's the thing that just "blows me away". Ok, I make no attempt to be so called "Masculine" - conversely, I make no attempt to be so called "Feminine" - I only attempt to be myself. The "Masculine beauty" thing. I don't do drag - or at least what *I* would call drag - my costumes are "masculine" (at least to my mind), no fake boobs (biology), etc. I've worn earrings, usually large dangles, in both ears in my mundane life for a number of years now. I'm loaded with pretty jewelry for performances. I use Kohl, eyeshadow and foundation (but no lipstick, can't stand the feel of the stuff). Blah, blah, blah. All this has cultural precedence for men - as you probably know - not that it would make much difference to me...
BUT...
Virtually "Everyone" says my overall presentation, costuming and dance - is "Masculine"! The women love my "exotic, painted" persona. People of both genders love my dancing (as much as you'd expect for a male dancer, anyways) - not that I'm any great shakes (I'm not). This is in spite of my breaking "the rules". As you know, I have no use for rulebooks.
My personal belief is that this is so because I'm *REAL* - I present not "Masculine", not "Feminine", but as *ME*. Since my demeanor comes across as "Masculine", people perceive me as such - even when doing floaty veilwork - maybe even especially when I do floaty veilwork.
Tarik - I'm an "armchair philosopher" and "armchair psychologist" - which means I don't know a darn thing about either, yet I'm fascinated by such things and am always learning more as I try to figure out just WHAT makes people tick. Gender expectations is probably the most dangerous place to tinker with and/or study - and here I am in the middle of it! Loving every minute too...
I'm rambling again - but go to my site, take a look at the menu option "Zorba in motion", and play the QuickTime (7) videos you'll find there and you tell me if I'm "masculine" or not. Its only one example of several that I do, but its at least available. "Masculine" or "feminine", I won't be offended either way, but my dance sisters sure liked my veil routine (even though I thought it was rough, even for ME).
As for the sexuality thing - I don't know (and don't care) what most people think. Yes, I've had some express surprise when they find out I'm married (23 years!) - I suppose that means they thought I was gay. Whatever...